The Empire Never Ended

The American - Bored of the USA

2012-01-03T12:51:00.000-08:00

The American is pretty much what you'd expect from a George Clooney film. Well acted, well shot and well directed. Stylish, like the man. But despite this, it is a wafer thin, seen it all before typical story of a Hitman that is fed up with the life he lives and want to throw it all in. As we all know, Hitman cant just hand in their 4 weeks notice and collect the P45, and so begins the age old tale of hunter turned hunted.

The difference with this version though is that it's all rather slow, dull and pointless as it meanders along to it's predictable conclusion. Not for me this Italian Melodrama, the best bit being when George emerges from those tiny doors. Badly framed shot??

Sanctum - Men with Hats at Work

2012-01-02T14:14:00.000-08:00

A load of climbers get stuck in a flooding cave system and get picked off one by one in Descent style minus the the suspenseful supernatural horror element. It's a bit like The Poseidon Adventure (in fact really like it in places) except not as terrifying because you're unlikely to ever find yourself in a cave other than Wookey Hole, whereas a capsized boat could happen on a jaunt to The Isle of Wight. The shouty Aussie gets on your nerves as well.

Apparently, this film is great in 3D and is produced/presented/not really involved by James Cameron. That tells you all you need to know before you even watch it.

Red State - Kevin Smith can talk a good movie

2011-11-27T15:23:00.000-08:00

Kevin Smith of the Nerds Rom Com genre directs his first horror movie. He should have stuck to what he knows as this was a very average movie. Very little shock or suspense for a horror movie and a cop out ending (no Pun intended). Oh well, at least the killers didn't require a twisted sexual motive for their murderous intent. That made a nice change.

He should stick to what he knows best. And I hope the rumours aren't true that this and Cop Out are his last films. I mean they would and should be if he hadn't already shown such great talent.

Invention of Lying - Best film ever made ;)

2011-11-27T15:13:00.000-08:00

Never going to be a great film. As funny as Ricky Gervais is, that whiny self depreciation humour will grate in a feature length movie. And he does. Despite some great scenes and one liners this film degenerates into nothing more than a predictable comedy. It is saved though because of the incredible dig at organised religion. I could watch those jokes over and over again. :D

Piranha - Buns for show, Boobs for a Pro

2011-11-27T14:59:00.000-08:00

High budget Lowbrow splatter fest. Follows the rules of all crap horror movies but with an incredible on screen budget and all star guest appearance list. It's all about the flesh on show though, with both the spring break bikini clad type and with the torn off the bones type getting plenty of screen time. Add some shooting fish shotgun action and Braindead-esq blade chomping and this should have been a B movie classic.

Alas some poorly handled needless plotting and unnecessary back story drop it marks. Great knob gag though :)

Super - The Indie Hero

2011-10-05T13:40:00.000-07:00

Although it could be seen to be studio doppelganger of one of the greatest movies of recent years (Kick-Ass), Super couldn't be more different. It has Independent movie written all over it, if the soundtrack, the sparse sets, quirky individuals and the stark reality don't convince you then the appearance of Ellen Page should confirm it.

But it's a dark twisted comedy you embark on if you watch this film. When Rainn Wilson picks the Wrench as his weapon of choice against crime then you know this is where his Dwight Shrute character from The Office could reach if ever allowed.

And that's the simplicity of this film. No gloss, just the thin line between Superhero Crime fighter and psychopathic maniac.....

"You don't butt in line. You don't sell drugs. You don't molest little children."

...Super indeed :)

Star Wars - Who had to die to get the Blade Runner release we wanted??

2011-09-12T13:00:00.000-07:00

That is all............................. :(

Priest - Hell's Angels

2011-07-24T13:51:00.000-07:00

Very short Movie (about 75 minutes if you take out the credits and cheap graphic start), absolutely no character development. I don't think anyone even has a name. Of course, this could be forgiven if the screen is filled with some bad-ass action, but it isn't. Most of the time they just seem to be riding off somewhere else on their big old motorbikes. When people do stop to 'develop', it all seems so tinpot.

A Blade-esq rip off that could have been much much better.

Drive Angry - Ghost Riders in the Sky

2011-07-18T13:03:00.000-07:00

At last, a film worth watching for just the sheer pleasure of watching. And starring my old mucker Nic-annoys me as a lead but I still like a lot of his films-Cage.

In truth, I think Nic felt he needed to make up for that awful cheese fest that is Ghost Rider with a similar styled affair, but hey, for adults this time.

Cars, explosions, Insane stunts along with ridiculous posing and dialogue (all intended of course) make this a film to reward the senses. And a film that feels it can steal from Shoot 'Em Up clearly knows it's audience from the first frame.

Loved every minute, with only the soundtrack letting things down for me at times. St Nic proving again that it is possible to love his films whilst despising his acting at the same time.

William Fitchner saving the day for Nic in this one. He's never bad Merely Badass. maybe I should do a list of Nic Cage films I hate him in but still love and then investigate how the movie rises so well above the lead.

Mirrors - Vampires Weekend

2011-07-18T12:37:00.000-07:00

Want to make a Horror film? Always use Mirrors as they are a guaranteed scare factor. Stick in a few classy deaths, try not to get bogged down and hire a quality lead in Kiefer Sutherland. It's not gonna win any awards but it's up there with video rentals we all grew up with a loved in our youth.

The Quick and the Dead - It's a crap name for a film really

2011-07-18T12:25:00.000-07:00

A watch once, light on memorable scenes, standard last man standing tournament movie, set in the wild west, staring a load of relatively unknown at the time but huge now actors being directed by Sam Raimi and all of his traditional touches.

I'd recommend you watch this movie, but I would be in no rush to watch it again with you.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2010 - Scream if you wanna go Faster

2011-06-30T13:04:00.000-07:00

A perfectly acceptable attempt at making a totally unnecessary and pointless movie. The original Nightmare movie is a perfect blend of gore and scares and over the top bad guy. That's why it works. That's why people love it and that's why Freddy is such an Iconic anti hero. The franchise both followed and established the rules for such movies.

This re imagining bullshit movie forgets all that and dishes out a big steaming turd affair. You can't side with the kids (you never can in a slasher, they're just fodder), and you can't side with Freddy. No, not only because he isn't played by the Brilliant and maniacal Robert Englund but because they keep ramming it down your throat about him being a Paedo. Way to completely miss the point.

Don't waste your time on this and watch the original instead. It hasn't dated.

The Human Centipede - There is no 'I' in Shit.

2011-06-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

Don't watch it. I know you want to, but don't. I didn't want to, but I did. I wish I hadn't and I only got to the bit when the Japanese bloke needed a shit.

The only menacing thing about this film aside from the writer/director, is the German scientist. But his whole ideology is flawed. He just seems obsessed with Human digestion, he can't stop talking about it. Even to the point that his first experiment involved his two dogs.

And that's the biggest flaw of all, cos everyone knows that you don't have to go to such ridiculous lengths to make a dog eat their own shit.

Avoid.

Any Given Saturday - Well Happy

2011-06-09T13:22:00.000-07:00

View Larger Map

After many years of nomadic wandering and many many false dawns. Could this finally be the stadium plan that we've been waiting for???

Pirates if the Caribbean On Stranger Tides - This is 4 right?

2011-06-02T13:36:00.000-07:00

I don't really get the POTC movies. The first one was great, but the following two were just ....... there. Pirates 4 is in the same bracket as the other sequels. It's good to watch but will (and already has a day later) just blur into the rest. Leaving you to think "what one did that happen in?"

Much like Harry Potter films, they are all the same. Lots of double crossing pirates, stiff upper lip British, a treasure (of which the viewer is unsure what it is even when they find it and also totally unsure of who really wanted it), Jack's crazy walk and chat and an ending to lead to another movie.

The only thing that makes you go "Wow!!!" in this chapter is finding out that the missing Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom are really quite important to help these movies flow. Go Figure?

That said, I do love a good Pirate outing :)

Question - This quartet of Pirate movies is now an ass numbing 599 minutes. How many more sequels are on the horizon given the money they make??, But more importantly, why the hell do they have to be so long? I fear if Bruckheimer get's his mate Michael Bay to direct the next one that, awesomely ridiculous though it could be, I may die trying to watch to the end.

A Perfect Getaway - Bully's Special Prize

2011-06-02T13:06:00.000-07:00

A less offensive Natural Born Killers or a straight played Club Dread. Nothing more than a watch once thriller that I hoped was a horror. Saved from the depths by the brilliant and fast becoming my favourite actor, Timothy Olyphant along with a great island setting.

Nothing really happens for the first half and only Olyphants ramblings keep you gripped, and on first watch you are expecting a lot more than you get. But then I suppose that's all that it needs to do.

It's good, but it's not great.

Scooby Doo - Who the fuck are you???

2011-05-30T14:02:00.000-07:00

Let's get one thing straight. I hate Cheryl Cole Tweedy Dum or whatever her name is. So I'm just gonna say one thing......

and it's not 'Racist' or 'Media whore' or 'Shallow' or 'Bitch' or 'Geordie Sweetheart' (Hell no!!!)

It's just this...

"Daphne"

Clearly it's not just your accent that got you the sack.

I must get back on track

Rocky IV - If the franchise dies, it dies

2011-04-27T13:21:00.000-07:00

Rocky by Numbers :-

1. It's a Cold War political statement
2. There's a fantastic montage
3. It's one long pop video
4. They realised who their audience is
5. Adrian confined to Angelically looking down and just going "Meh!" every so often
6. It's better than III
7. Horrendously dated technology on show
8. It's shit but now it knows it
9. Not as gay
10. Hearts on Fire

Rocky III - Get some Nuts!

2011-04-27T13:12:00.000-07:00

Rocky III was the film I missed as a kid. Therefore I can hold no biased love for the movie......

This is where the franchise becomes nothing more than that. Not so once a remake as a rehash this time. But everything is aped to the nth degree. It's more stupid, it's more gay. It tries to follow the set formula laid down for all future Rocky movies, but it has no heart. It's got more far too many of the famous Rocky Montage scenes and it's sooooo gay. If it hadn't taken itself so seriously it may have worked.

No Apollo fight. No Music. No Point.

Rocky II - He lied about the rematch

2011-04-27T12:56:00.000-07:00

Rocky II is not so much a rematch but a remake, a bit like the way Evil Dead 2 was a remake of Evil Dead.

The action picks up from the end of the first one (as will further sequels) and then the story just repeats itself. Instead of Rocky being a washed up bum, he's a retired one off super star who vows never to box again. He still can't earn money. Adrian is still whiny. Paulie is still a dick. And Apollo Creed is still overly frustrated with everything. Cue the Rematch.

Of course, none of this is bad as Rocky vs Apollo is the fight to watch, and the music still kicks ass and inspires you with every watch.

Rocky - He doesn't know it's a damn show! He thinks it's a damn fight!

2011-04-06T10:48:00.000-07:00

Great Acting, Great fight scenes, Great score, Great Movie.

Rocky is simply fantastic. How can you not be inspired when that theme kicks in, when he trades punches with Apollo Creed and when he runs up the steps of The Philly Museum of Art. An awe inspiring Sports movie to be watched by all.

They're ain't gonna be no rematch...

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves - A Tiger? In Africa?

2011-03-16T13:52:00.000-07:00

Everything about this film should no longer work. Everything about this film was pure cheese, even on release, and should never work. I mean who can forget or is even allowed to forget the god-damn awful associated ballad from Sir Bryan of Adams?

I'm not sure what the budget was for this film but seeing as Sean Connery got paid close to Marlon Brando fees for 60 seconds screen time I'm assuming it was hefty. That then does not excuse the awful continuity on screen. Swords appear and disappear at will, Costner's hair is wet, then dry, then wet, then dry more often than not. The perspex glass cracking when a soldier gets a crossbow thrown at his face is the best bit. As for Costner covering himself in shit about an hour after Marion told him to take a bath, that's the best edit on show.

And while we're on Costner, he really does love himself and thinks he's the dogs. Was there any need for the nakedness??? NO!!! At least he doesn't try an English accent, but that does mean we are left with his nasally tones instead. As for accents, what is going on with them. Christian Slater's wavering cockney, Morgan Freeman's Indian??? English actors generic English speak. 'You Tosspot'.

So there you have it, I could pick out endless faults with this film, and yet despite them it is still sooo much fun and way more fun than the recent Scott/Crowe effort. You see the Robin Hood legend is all about fun and a simple story and there is no more simple than this version. I love it.

Can't sign off without a special mention. Alan Rickman is immense in this film, playing classic Rickman of course, but so what. And THAT tune, just don't bother with the credits. Sorted :)

The Mechanic - Transporter 4

2011-03-02T12:43:00.000-08:00

Generic action movie filmed in a very generic way, right down to the camera distances, pans and drops. I don't slag off Jason Statham as he is a great action movie star and regardless of what some say, he really can carry a movie...........so I'm not gonna say anymore...... Christ, even the sex was straight out the action manual.....

....watch it if you're 10 and have never seen any action movies before.

Let The Right One In - Or stay in and watch something else

2011-03-02T12:36:00.000-08:00

You're supposed to like this little Swedish vampire flick from 2008. But I just didn't get the hype. In fact I looked a little like the picture above, the blood coming from head butting the wall with boredom. Trouble is, it's a bit dull, that and the fact that it's marketed as a horror film when really it's a fairytale for kids that wouldn't be able to stay awake through it. I'm sure that I've missed something, but it's not that I can't enjoy European cinema.

I would save you the boredom and link the awesome swimming pool scene as it is rather good, but I can't find an embedded code. The US remake of this got me excited for once, but unfortunately it's almost scene for scene remake.

The Life of Brian -Which car company do you work for?

2011-03-01T04:31:00.000-08:00

I'm not one to comment on current affairs (Ahem :/ ), but today's ruling by the ECJ over insurance policies and gender is almost the most stupidest yet. I say almost, as it could never be more stupid than the small minded "I'm alright Jack" comments that have greeted it. Ironic, as they will not be. Like Insurance companies are not doing everything for their own benefit anyway. Have you ever wondered why a billing company spends more money on chasing your owed pennies than the pennies are worth?

Anyway, this is a movie blog and today's events just made me think of the following.

This :)

And this :)

Crazy ass world we live in.

The Sound of Music - According to Steve Jobs

2011-02-25T12:24:00.000-08:00

So I'm bored, sitting on the bus on the way home, and decided to listen to my iPods top 25 most played songs. Surprisingly I didn't make it through all of them, but out of the 18839 tracks (all the mp3 tracks of any kind that I own are on my iPod), this is The 25 :-

Last chance for a Serenade - Audrey Horne (Superb Opener)

Down with the Sickness - Disturbed

Sun It Rises - Fleet Foxes

White Winter Hymnal - Fleet Foxes

Welcome to the Jungle - Guns N' Roses

Pioneer to the Falls -Interpol

Futures - Jimmy Eat World

Escape form New York - John Carpenter

Spaceman - The Killers

Sam's Town - The Killers

Enterlude - The Killers

Sex On Fire -Kings Of Leon

The Last Day on Earth - Maryilyn Manson

Metallica - For Whom The Bell Tolls

Time To Pretend - MGMT

Blue Sky Mine - Midnight Oil

Home Sweet Home - Motley Crue

Cowboys From Hell - Pantera

Down With The Sickness - Richard Cheese (Also on my awesome zombie playlist :)

Red Queen - Resident Evil Soundtrack (Opens an Awesome playlist lasts about 2 seconds???)

Tell Me It's Not Over - Starsailor

Death - White Lies

To Lose my Life - White Lies

A Place to Hide - White Lies

Unfinished Business - White Lies (Ironic I feel)

So there you have it. Unsure how only 6 songs from my oft listened to 30 strong Zombie playlist make it on the top 25, but I guess I get through the start more often than the end. That may also explain the White Lies top tunes appearing on there too. Good job I get most of my soundtrack listening done via Spotify.

I kind of like this feature, I will return to it after a few more months. Unfinished Business.

Hard Target - Stay off the radar

2011-02-04T13:32:00.000-08:00

Part one of my JCVD revisited double bill began with this little number from the early 90's. I've never been a fan of Van Dame as he is just a vacuous actor who has zero charisma even for inhabited world of the action hero. That said, I had fond memories of two of his films, Hard Target being one, Timecop the other.

Good Things - John Woo, Lance Henriksen, Arnold Vosloo

Bad Things - Pretty much the rest.

John Woo's action direction works in his HK flicks but his ability to carry emotion has always been a little suspect. This film has all his trademarks, but the slo-mo, the cheesey music and the sickly emotion are not helped by JCVD's total inability to carry a movie. Coupled with a bad mullet, studio interference, a shocking Wilford Brimley's accent (I hate Wilford Brimley in everything but The Thing and he even annoys me in that) and Woo's trademark bad stunt doubles and you have a cringe worthy watch once movie. How could you not find a stunt double with a mullet in the US of A???

IMDb Link

War - What is it good for?

2011-02-04T11:18:00.000-08:00

An 80's action Movie with modern day production values. Jet Li kicks ass and stuff blows up. What more do you want for this kind of film? It's not going to be watched with nostalgia in 20 years but then neither is JCVD.

It plays the old switcheroo in the storyline and it got 'The Stath' too. And he only loses his Yank accent once,

"Stop Fackin' shooting"

Christmas With The Kranks - Frosty the Bastard

2010-12-15T03:14:00.000-08:00

Far funnier than it gets credit for. It never really hits full speed but Obsessive American Neighbourhoods are always a going to be a good setting for a seasonal Movie. Typically, it's a tricky line to make these films appealing to all given the limits of the story, But this film never feels like it's retreading 'old ground' and the Xmas smaulch never hangs around on screen for too long.

A worthy addition to the annual Christmas film fest with a great soundtrack to boot.

Trading Places - It wasn't heroin, it was angel dust - PCP and I never touched it. ...

2010-12-13T11:12:00.000-08:00

Classic Christmas comedy with Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy when they were hilarious. Could almost be a family film if it wasn't for the totally unnecessary topless shots and F-bombs dropped in now and again. But without them it wouldn't be half as funny.

Die Hard - Now I Have A Machine Gun Ho - Ho - Ho

2010-12-13T10:58:00.000-08:00

The film that changed the action Genre forever in so many ways! Even adding an action hero that could crack jokes, be a hero, and ... well, 'act.' It also showed that bad guys are best portrayed by European actors as you can never take a fronting Yank completely seriously as a bad guy.

I've seen this film so many times I can't even remember. What did I learn this time???? Well, Hans Gruber seems to have compiled a healthy Dossier on Mr Takagi that would put the Encyclopedia Britannica to shame. He does seem to have neglected to insert a photo though :/

A Christmas classic. Got you viewing in this year yet???

The Island - Mike's place

2010-11-20T10:23:00.000-08:00

A genuinely great Michael Bay film. Will wonders never cease??? It's infected with his bungee cord attached camera work, but spending a lot of time underground does seem to contain him.

Ewan McGregor plays the discontented man in a near future scifi flick where a group of Nike clad well mannered and healthy individuals eagerly await their future on 'The Island'. A little of Logan's Run and a slice of THX1138 help give this some weight, along with some dependable acting from McGregor, Sean Bean and Djimon Hounsou. And for most of the movie runtime this is engaging if a little predictable.

Alas, as soon as it breaks out, Mr Bay gets his dirty OTT action* directional mitts on it and we have some ridiculous action, crazy fighting and lots of running until it all ends in a Polyphonic Spree video. Still, I like it.

*(OTT action is usually great and always was until Michael Bay)

Bronson - Well I never Liked Clockwork Orange that much anyway

2010-11-14T00:43:00.000-08:00

To some, a feast and the return of the great European Auteur........

......to others, complete shite.

I'm with the others, so I'm obviously too Neanderthal to comment. See this if you want to think "WTF????" as opposed to "WTF????......aaaah coooool"

Couples Retreat - It's puppy cradle death syndrome

2010-10-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

A really weak film that would be average to worthless if it wasn't for the cast. But the cast make this more than watchable. Vince Vaughan plays VV and that's always worth a watch. Jason Bateman is a comic genius and with his on screen partner, Kristen Bell, we have the modern day couple to die for. Jon Favreau and Jean Reno add their skills to the mix as well. In fact, everyone is on form.

The star of the show though is Peter Serafinowicz. Still unsure if he's a genius or a complete dick, but in this he's definitely the evil genius.

Will probably be panned for saying it , but I loved it.

IMDb link

I love you Beth Cooper - Love is Blind

2010-10-16T11:55:00.000-07:00

A high School comedy Directed by Chris Columbus. Should be a shoe in for laughs then.

In my mind the director is a guarantee stamp like John Hughes, a guaranteed teen comedy will be delivered. My mind must be lost as the man that gave us Home Alone 1 &2 also bought us the heavily overrated-budgeted-marketed Harry Potter movies and little else.

The comic timing and the film editing is way off. Whether that's the director, his second string team of actors or a combination of both, I don't know. What I do know, is that a lot of the ideas and comedy on show SHOULD be funny but it isn't. A real shame.

IMDb Link

DOA: Dead or Alive - WARNING: This motion picture does not contain explicit portrayals of violence; sex; violent sex; sexual violence; clowns and violent scenes of violent excess, so is definitely suitable for all audiences.

2010-08-04T05:02:00.000-07:00

Remember the bit about watching films in HD when they are shown. Well that's my excuse for watching this also. It's not terrible and it doesn't take itself seriously at all. It has some cool and equally ropey fight scenes and sticks in three scantily clad maidens to up the interest for the Teenage boy audience. Surely no other excuse for the volleyball scene????

Think of it as a poor mans Charlie's Angels (The Movie Remakes) if such a thing can be achieved and just take it or leave it.

Predator - M134 when you absolutely positively have to kill every mutha fucker in the jungle, accept no substitute.

2010-08-04T04:20:00.000-07:00

Arnie sets off on a Jungle hunt with Jessie Ventura and Apollo Creed and some other mates to hunt down the most quintessential badass alien that has ever been created. Couple this with some awesome 80's scripted dialogue, a thunderous score from Silvestri and the meanest (hand)gun ever shown on screen in and you get one of the greatest sci-fi actioners created.


Trivia - Arnold is displaying enlightenment at the fact that he can't be seen because he is covered in clay. Man that guy can act.

First Blood - Back Home

2010-08-04T04:10:00.000-07:00

Sly's best film? You decide

What it is, is a fantastic action movie with a little more depth and realism than it gets credit for. John Rambo, Vietnam vet, snaps when the local law enforcement get a little too heavy.  What ensues is Action movie gold.

The International - The World's Local Bank

2010-08-04T04:06:00.000-07:00

Clive Owen, hereon referred to as 'The Plank' (a bit harsh as this is probably his least wooden performance) stars as a Interpol agent relentlessly investigating a huge banking organisation. Story reminds me a lot of Lord of War with Nic Cage,  because of the nod to the fact that Big Business runs and influences the whole world.

Set to a European back drop, this conspiracy thriller was always going to draw comparison to The Bourne trilogy of films. A shame, as if you do compare it then it will come up well short. The fast passed action and stylised editing of those films is not even attempted in this brooding thriller. Fixed cam landscapes a plenty on view in what is an engaging and thought provoking journey across the globe.
A nod to older movies and styles on show here and long may such things continue. You have to love the shoot out in the museum as well. It is stunning.

AVP: Requiem - ....and dark doesn't mean good, it means I can't see what the fudge is going on.....

2010-08-04T04:01:00.000-07:00

Dark, plot-less, careless and pointless

AVP - The Games Master

2010-08-04T03:58:00.000-07:00

As with Transformers, just having two sets of awesome bad guys kick the shit out of each other is not allowed. As is releasing what would be an awesome 30 minute flick in the pictures. So we have to mix in some human element and plotted story.

Paul WS Anderson gets good action fodder in his flick and knows his audience so this is simple stuff. TBF if it wasn't for the PG13 rating restricting the gore and the, let's be honest, pretty ropey first face off for the two protagonists then this is a pretty great attempt as far as shallow action movies go.
Mind you, I've seen it three times now, so it might be a good time to retire it from viewing. Nah can't do that. Colin Salmon and Henriksen being in this will always make me think it's worth another go.

Predators - Danger! Danger! Will Robinson

2010-08-04T03:51:00.000-07:00

An action reboot and apparent sequel to the first Predator movie gets that billing for no apparent reason. Averagely dull action stars and too much of the bad stuff from King Kong and The Mist for me. You know, stupid CGI alien stuff.


Thing is, despite Brody being broody, Fishburne being great/fat and the rest being ok fodder. It just tries too hard. It seems an irrelevance to put these characters in various states of confusion when the majority of the viewers know what's coming. You just get no involvement or connection to their plight.

No bombastic score. No second half urgency. Laurence Fishburne is Tim Robbins in War of the Worlds. And a predictable seen it coming a mile off so a real shame it wasn't worth waiting for samurai scene.

Let Down. No better, but no worse than AVP, albeit for different reasons.

Predator 2 - It has not been a nice day

2010-08-04T03:45:00.000-07:00

Take the first movie, move the shoot to an easier location to work in and crack on with making sequels the way they are supposed to be made. Set up the plot, kill off the characters and end with a massive chase/hunt.

Get some good action actors (Glover, Paxton, Bussey), Some bad un's (most of the rest) and some OTT ones (hey the mighty Paxton again :)) and remember that it's the man in the suit and the awesome score that really make this franchise. You'll be onto a winner.
Some shocking delivered lines from the Hispanic cops does not distract from the fact that this is the second best Predator movie.

Date Movie - The curse of technology

2010-07-07T12:37:00.000-07:00

I watch a lot crap purely because I have HD Sky and tend to record anything in Hi Def. I hate poor spoofs and especially spoofs that try and spoof comedy :? Spoofs that are not even funny are particularly pointless.

IMDb Link

Final Destination - It's a one-way ticket to a madman's situation

2010-07-05T13:48:00.000-07:00




The first and second best of the three films I have seen from this four piece saga. It still holds up well after several repeat viewing's because there is just so much going on in the background. The books, pictures on the walls, songs, names.....it goes on and on. And to top that it's just a well polished horror film with plenty of inventive death scenes of incredible length and detail. How number two managed to improve on this I don't know, but I think like here, they just new what worked. 


There are so many great scenes to get through. And all of them keep you gripped and guessing and far enough onto the edge of your seat to jump out of your skin at several points. They nailed this movie, pure and simple. And that ending get's me every time.

Kick Ass - The Non Conformist Genre Genre

2010-07-05T13:41:00.000-07:00

Like Zombieland before it, this film has reminded me what I love about movies. Both these films have thrown a curve ball at their respective genres reminding us that films don't need to fit hoes for pigeons.

In simple terms, kick ass is kick ass. It has somehow managed to blend the modern American teen humour with a storyline, a dramatised superhero movie, some blood thirsty action and plenty of Irony. Hell it even gets a stupendous performance from Nic Cage. And this is a man who has sat firmly on my avoid radar for a long long time.

The movie is amazing. If they had made this in Asia then critics would have hailed it's existence as pure genius. And then firmly slated Western cinema for not being able to do the same. Well we did the same people and it didn't need to be half as quirky and mind bending as those crazy Japanese Korean fellows ;)

I for one cannot wait to watch this again.

IMDb Link

'The Expendables' Trailer HD

2010-07-04T11:58:00.000-07:00

It's arrived. Nothing can ruin my anticipation for this Movie.

Lost - It was the dawn of the third age of mankind

2010-06-30T05:55:00.000-07:00

Something has been bothering me about Lost. It's not the series as it's one of the best TV shows ever (not as good as BSG). It's not the ending as I thought it was a fantastic ending to a TV Show. So many shows don't end. So many shows drag themselves on for far too long and when they finally do end they don't tell you anything (X Files). It's not even the hundreds of poor SKY One Lost exclusive shows which are some of the poorest efforts of TV ever. Iain Lee, what happened??......

Nope, It's the CGI in the last season. Some of the worse I've seen in a TV show. Where did the budget go. Anything in the water was like someone had just switched over to a cartoon. It would give Primeval a run for its money in the 'you know it's not real so we're not even going to try' stakes. Bizarre....

Lords Of Dogtown - Let's go Space Truckin'

2010-06-20T12:01:00.000-07:00

Disenfranchised 'yoofs' take skateboarding to a new level in this bio-pic about the explosion of the sport in 70s US of A. How annoying are these guys. They live in a dump on the sunny coast, but rather than stick to surfing they go for skateboarding. Not only that, they get to practice and highlight their talents by illegally skating in the empty pools of local residents. Hardly fair is it.

Skateboarding should be an Urban jungle pursuit. Dirty Meaders hardly get the choice to take up surfing do they. Being able to ride the Severn bore once a year can't really count. To make things worse, they don't even get the chance to practice in swimming pools. The residents of Sneyd Park and Stoke Bishop would never empty their green slime pools even though we only get sunshine for about 4 weeks a year........

.....This is a great film. Easy to sit down and watch with a beer and take in the images and the great 70's soundtrack. Why??? Because I want their life of chilled out hassle free existence in the sun or I want to sit down with a beer and a movie with some 70's rock. Heath Ledgers' best film (until I find another) especially highlighted by his scene set against Maggie May (Awesome).

IMDb
Lords of Dogtown (Unrated Extended Cut)

Club Dread - Broken Lizards Club Dread no less

2010-06-19T08:24:00.000-07:00

Strange one this. I assume Broken Lizard is a comedy troupe that got together for this feature. They're quite a funny bunch but the film is disjointed. The biggest problem is trying to make a comedy horror from a slasher flick. Not needed, it's already a comedy genre in it's own right. All in all, the characters are good, but the film just drags. On the plus side, there is plenty of unnecessary flesh on show......

Oh and the Legend that is BILL PAXTON as well :)

IMDb
Club Dread (Unrated Extended Edition)

Lake Placid - Thankyou for being a friend

2010-06-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

Lake Placid is a tale of a man eating monster that terrorises the local lake eating tourists and anyone that cares to turn up.

At least that's the plot....

The result is very different. It's effectively a horror comedy with the narrative being nothing more than a excuse for a group of people to engage in some sarcastic exchanges. The Horror element doesn't work in the slightest but the film is no worse for it. The only thing missing is Nathan Fillion. Did he base his career on this film????

IMDb
Lake Placid (Widescreen Edition)

Carlitos's Way - She's On Fire

2010-06-19T08:14:00.000-07:00

Brian de Palma and Al Pacino + Scarface. Right??? Nope, it can also Be Carlito's way. But Carlito'sWay is no Scarface. Yep it's good, but not Scarface. In fact, scrap that, because at times it is like Scarface. The camera work, the dialogue, the movement. But herein lies the problem. It's the same director, it's the same lead and although not the same story it is a similar genre of crime. Too many similarities pointing to the better movie for me. If I could offer you a reason to watch, it would simple be that it is a great film. Just make sure you devote a clear two hours to view it and you clear you memory of Scarface beforehand.

IMDb
Carlito's Way [Blu-ray]

Iron Man - Heavy boots of lead fills his victims full of dread

2010-05-18T11:24:00.000-07:00

Hit my second viewing of Iron Man over the weekend and am still left bewildered by the hype that this movie gets from my popcorn loving friends. In the modern world of Superhero summers, it just feels like more of the same. It follows the same establishing line of all the origin movies and because of that it might as well BE the same movie.

There seems little you can do with a Marvel movie, it's eternally trapped in a set of rules like Disney. You can rarely break enough of these rules without falling into a trap. Namely turn into a camp kids movie like Fantastic Four or alienate those that don't want to think like Batman Begins or Hulk. I suppose Iron Man sits nicely in the middle like Spider-man or X-men. Visual enough and clever enough and adult enough to appeal to everyone. But that said, it's still a franchise setting movie that has to drop in an obligatory appearance for Stan Lee (A flawed genius who knows what he likes and it ain't a lot of variety) and so never challenges the grey matter or comes close to surprising you.

Iron Man has a great soundtrack, some great set pieces and is better acted than most, but give me Blade or Hellboy any day of the week.

IMDb
Iron Man (Ultimate Two-Disc Edition + BD Live) [Blu-ray]

Zu Warriors from the Magic Mountain - Loses a little something in the translation ....maybe

2010-05-12T12:18:00.000-07:00

Eh?????????

Take the worse episode of Monkey you ever saw, add the fact that your not a kid anymore and you never saw this when you were and then multiply by the fact that you never even liked Big Trouble in Little China let alone foreign cinema. Then decide if you want to watch this.

For students of Asian cinema only.

IMDb
Zu - Warriors From the Magic Mountain

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus - Terry & Jude

2010-05-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

This film is probably best known for being the film that Heath Ledger was in the middle of making when he died. It was probably the only thing left that could happen to film maker Terry Gilliam to scupper his latest movie. Okay, it was a worse deal for Heath, but Gilliam really does get a bum deal with his visionary movies. He seems like a nice guy, but I can only assume he's a complete bastard as karma is clearly not this mans friend. Read up on it.

I'm a fan though. Ever since his crazy animation work in Monty Python caught my eye as a kid. And It's transferred to all his films, Time Bandits, 12 Monkeys, The Fisher King (easily gets into my Top Ten films ever every time), Brazil. The man is a visionary genius who makes films that live long in the memory but are very much off base.

This film is no different than the rest. It's instantly recognisable as his work. There is a lot going on, the characters are uniquely Gilliam, it's got all his crazy camera angles, the Sets are messy and detailed and the story is a dream like fantasy straight from the pages of child's book (well the kind of book that got released in 60s and 70s before the Nanny State got involved).

It's interesting to think how this film would have panned out if Heath hadn't died. I'm not sure if re-writes were required or if the addition of Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell as the same character in a fantasy world just slotted in with less make up required. Will probably make a good making off to match Lost in La Mancha. It seems to work naturally anyway.

But as with all his work, and like The Matrix, it can't be explained, you have to experience it for yourself. This one especially as I will have to watch at least once more before I can figure out what was going on.

Aliens - I say we grease this rat-fuck son of a bitch right now!

2010-05-11T12:55:00.000-07:00

So if you have to go to the Queen to ask to form a government, can she then step in when you start fucking up the country and blow your ass outta town??? We may have to rely on someone else.

"Up and to the left"

Too Soon???

The Taking of Pelham 123 - To the swingers and the roustabouts and the carnivore queen

2010-05-10T14:03:00.000-07:00

I never thought that the words 'Underwhelmed' and 'Tony Scott' could go together. But it appears that they can. He is one of my favourite directors with movies such as 'Enemy of the State', 'Spy Game', 'Last Boy Scout' and 'Man on Fire' to name a few. Yeah he's a stylised director with his trademark blind light and his ever increasing MTV hyperkinetic editing. But his films are good. It seems though that with this remake he has ran out of steam.

It contains all of his said TM's, but it all comes across as more of the same. It isn't helped by everyone else seemingly going through the motions as well. Washington's perfect teeth everyday joe churning out the same old stuff. Travolta's camp bad guy that we've seen far too many times before and were never really scared of in the first place (although never with such unbelievable make-up, and that includes Battlefield Earth). And there's more New Yawking than you saw in Die Hard with a Vengeance.

So there you have it. A superb high octane thriller for those of you that have never seen any similar work from these three power hitters before. They should be less proud of themselves though as it appears they were just fulfilling contract obligations.

Dinosaur - No Jurasic Park

2010-05-10T13:55:00.000-07:00

A turn of the century movie from the Disney studio, that along with Treasure Planet, Atlantis, Tarzan and the likes, I have never watched because I am probably too old. But seeing as I got hold of the Blu Ray in a cheap 2for1 deal I decided to give up 80 mins of a Saturday morning.

And I'm glad I did. I'm a Disney convert. 6 times visitor to their various theme parks/worlds doesn't lie. And this movie is pure Disney. Ignore the genius of the Pixar movies and get down to the nitty gritty of Disney. Child separated from family, finds new family, big event will attempt to break up family, but we all live happily ever after. Hell, it's jungle book without the songs. Actually that astounded me. As a kid I loved most Disney movies but Jungle book aside I rarely liked the songs. They annoyed me. Toy Story 2 just misses out on ultimate movie status because of Jessie's song. Bleugh!!!!!

So what we have here is a fantastically animated (against Live action backdrops but really, really looks great) traditional Disney movie minus the songs. I think this is because the film was not even supposed to have dialogue. In fact when I saw the trailers years ago, I assumed this was the case. It's worth a watch if you like Disney and the soundtrack will have you chomping at the bit to get back to the happiest place on earth. Well I am anyway :)

The Descent Part II - Yep, that is what it's called

2010-05-10T13:47:00.000-07:00

Let's get one thing sure from the start. The Descent sequel is ten times better than most of the horror $hit that gets churned out nowadays. Unfortunately though, much like a new recipe for Blackthorn, it's just not required.

Neil Marshall's original was a complete movie. It had the lot. A great cast, a great story, a claustrophobic setting, a truly terrifying horror movie. What it didn't require was a sequel. The directors vision ended, completed, finished, story over. The Descent in all its glory was Marshall's masterpiece. Alas, success and the US ending paved the way for the sequel......

...You see, for those of you that have seen the original, In the US it ended at the Jump sequence in the car. The classic standard affair, Carrie, Elm Street, Event Horizon et al horror movie underpants changing ending. Hence the missing of the real depth and undertone of the story and the green light for franchise.

So on a pure horror movie experience the sequel works. It's pulled to together pretty much the whole team (director aside) and returned to the settings of the original. It kicks off from where the original ended in the US and it brings the same style of pure terror that the original did. Unfortunately though, it lacks the characterisation and depth of the original and works pretty much on a base horror level. Which means a lot of gore and a lot of jumps.

So if you can ignore the cheesy 'Hell itself' line, ignore the fact that two slightly overweight members of the local sheriffs department can cope in this unexplored cave system, ignore the terrible ending and are happy to watch a watered down version of the original then you will love this. I can only hope that if they are thinking of making another one, that they go down the route of a Cameron's Aliens to Scott's Alien sequel. Otherwise they will be hammering a classic into the depths.

Harry Brown - Dirty Charlie

2010-05-10T13:38:00.000-07:00

Not one to watch if your feeling a bit down. Michael Caine stars as Harry Brown in a dark, grime filled, dirty affair set on some rough looking council estate (Cue Sarf London even though I don't think it's mentioned). Harry kicks off on a revenge spree after his wife dies, his friend dies and he sees nothing but complete scum chavs running riot on his estate.

It's a bit like Gran Torino meets Death Wish but never really hits the heights of either of those two.(Death wish is a classic in its own exploitation way). That said, like Gran Torino it does have the added realistic benefit of it's classy lead playing a character of his age.

If it wasn't for the lack of humour, crappy plotted last twenty minutes and weak symbolism (yeah the underpass) then perhaps it might have challenged GT. Nah, not with that song as the credits roll.

Centurion - Why are you not entertained????

2010-05-09T12:34:00.000-07:00

Neil Marshall is one of the finest Directors/screenwriters in Britain at the moment. He is the man that brought us Dog Soldiers (excellent), The Descent (Scariest film for an age) and Doomsday (Bloody good, shut yer face). So it was with anticipation that I awaited the release of Centurion, his latest effort, to hit the big screen.

Alas, it would seem that being a big movie director is not enough to get your work on the screen in your home country. I missed the release week, I couldn't make the following weeks one stupid late night showing and then it was gone. Yes, it would seem that in the day of Multiplex cinemas, of which Bristol has FIVE, there is simply not enough space to showcase homegrown talent. So that's five multiplexes, average of 12 screens, plus half a dozen local flea pits and the film is effectively gone within a week.

Is it any wonder that millions of people download movies illegally on the Internet. That is the only way I can now watch this awesome movie in the next three months before the Blu ray is out for sale. Trouble is, typing the word 'Centurion' into a search engine is a bit like using 'Trojan' or 'Chariot'. What is the fascination with roman terminology????

What a shizzle. He who anticipates, hesitates, and in turn.....

28 Days Later - 23 Days to go

2010-04-14T12:37:00.000-07:00

So we will wake up (or sit through) 23 days from now to a new UK ruling party or hung parliament (should all be hanged anyway har har har;). It will more than likely be the Conservatives, there is a slim chance it will still be Labour and there is next to no chance it will be anyone else.

"I'll vote for a third party candidate" , "Go on, throw your vote away"

Whatever the outcome, the Lib Dems get my vote. Not because I live in the west country and all the disenfranchised farmers vote Lib Dem though. Nope, purely because of the PPB I just saw. I like it :)

Dawn of the Dead - All Rise

2010-04-01T12:49:00.000-07:00

DoTD is an all time favourite. Zombies hunt on instinct and there is no reasoning with that level of commitment. If their ultimate goal is to eat you alive, then all in all that's pretty scary. With the upcoming Blu Ray release on the Horizon and looking like another improvement in the visual stakes, I decided to dust off the Ultimate DVD edition for a final watch before upgrading. Three versions of this film, The Theatrical cut, The Extended cut and The European Cut. Unfortunately I went for the European Cut.

Bad move. I have obviously never seen this cut of the film before and it really struggles due to being a combination of a bad editing and an unfamiliar familiarity.

Dario Argento. A horror maestro who's films I have rarely seen, helped to get funding for this film. He was allowed Euro (non english apparently) distribution and editing rights in exchange. What we get is a faster cut (over 20 minutes off the original cut) and new music. But I'm unsure what the goal with this was. It still runs at nearly 2 hours for a horror movie and so no benefit there. And the 'tighter' editing just seems to make the film jump. The music is the biggest let down though as the original soundtrack is entrenched in the memory for me and the new stuff just sounds tagged on like a laughter track.

I'm not sure what Dario was trying to achieve. Why did he think he could edit this film better than George, and given the mans already respected output (so I'm told) why did he feel he needed to?

My advice to you if you've never seen this horror classic is avoid the Eurozone and head for the US Theatrical or the Extended cut. I'm going to refresh the brain with one of them very soon.

Deep Blue Sea - It gets better and better as it gets wetter and wetter

2010-03-31T12:00:00.000-07:00

Should I admit to this being the most watched DVD in my collection??? Well it is. Renny Harlin has hit all the right elements for me with this film which means it is a movie that I can put on at any time and in any mindset. This Isn't a Taxi Driver or Apocalypse Now or the latest Foreign Language wire work ballet from Asia, this is pure unadulterated American Popcorn movie fun. So what makes it so good???

1) Its got sharks in it
2) It's tense. Set in the ocean, that's scary enough without the added tension of losing all forms of escape bar swimming.
3) There's no message aside from sharks are bloody dangerous and great movie bad guys
4) It's a low brow action movie that has managed to attract some top draw quality Hollywood actors. Samuel L. Jackson struggles to find bad material or make a film crap. The man oozes class and makes every movie experience 10 times better. Thomas Jane is the modern day Steve Mcqueen. He may be there for the ladies, but he has the charisma too. He's a mans man that any man can appreciate. LL Cool J is there for the comedy side and it's a role he plays so well. Plus he gets some great lines in this. Michael Rappaport is an acting genius and I'll deck anyone who says different.
5) Sandra Burroughs strips to her undies for no real reason apart form lightening the mood.
6) Its got Sharks in it.
7) It's got some great explosions and another Harlin Helicopter crash
8) Its the best underwater escape movie since The Poseidon Adventure (Original of course and I bloody love that film)
9) It's the best goddamn shark movie since Jaws.
10) It's got a big name death and it could not be more shoved in your face to avoid any doubt that it's about to happen if it tried. And that just makes it better.

11) If you can find a movie that smashes an underwater glass viewing panel in a better way then let me know.
12) It couldn't be a more formulaic action movie if it tried. Oh, you think that's bad. Well would you like it if your Cadburys Dairy milk or KFC seasoning tasted different? Well would you?
13) Did I mention the Sharks and Rappaport?

So there you have it. Find it, But it and watch it. If you don't like it then you have forgotten what entertainment is all about.

Avatar - The Last Rainforest

2010-03-04T10:38:00.001-08:00

Avatar, Avatar, Avatar.

Avatar is the most over hyped (not overrated) movie in the history of time. You cannot fail to go and see this movie and be let down. I mean it's mean nominated for Oscars. And not just SFX ones. Real ones. Actually that's probably a good thing but it does show you that even the Academy have been swept up in all the hype. I mean it's effectively a sci fi cartoon. What were the chances?? then again District 9 is up to so maybe it's a lean year for their normal boring efforts.

So anyway on with the review of Ferngully. It's all about the 3D element isn't it. I wasn't that impressed, I never have been by 3D, 15 minutes in Disney World maybe. The Spiderman ride (Fecking Awesome) in Universal Islands of Adventure, definitely. But three hours. No way. Maybe it's my eyes. Or maybe it's that the cinemas aren't up to scratch or the 50 pence glasses don't warrant the Billion dollar investment. Like when the latest mobile phone comes with a 15 mega pixel camera but this effectively means bull crap if the lens is shite. Either way I wasn't blown away.

So 3D aside, Dances With Wolves is just an OK film. It's got some great fights, fantastic action, the animation is top notch and ultimately it is another Cameron classic. It's just not the all conquering movie experience it was purported to be. If it wasn't for all the hype re the 3D it wouldn't have become the biggest grossing film ever. People just felt they HAD to go, even if it just meant they could rebuff anyone who said 'well yeah, but you didn't see it in 3D'. I mean I saw some trailers and was in no mood to see it (and that's from a self confessed scifi, Cameron, action, bullshit movie fan). I still felt bullied into going though and spent a tenner for the privilege.

Trouble with all these Last Samurai fanboys though is their fantasies about the Blue Aliens. Yes that's the Blue ANIMATED Aliens. There's sites for you guys cos I think, as they say, It's Big in Japan.

Oh Avatar, how did you do it? I mean, even your movie posters are shite.

I'll still buy it on Blu ray though. What a sucker.

Evil - Canis Canem Edit

2010-03-04T07:21:00.000-08:00

What a stunning movie. I was drawn into this movie from the very start. Probably because the opening is so violent and in your face, a bit like Romper Stomper, it let's you know what it's about early on.

It's set in Sweden a few years after the second world war and follows a bad kid with a violent upbringing that gets one more chance to succeed at a boarding school. The reason I mention the war, is that the hierarchy on show here definitely has nods to the Nazis. Using fear, power and violence to get there point across (plus looking a bit preened??), but nowhere near hard enough to carry it off. The main character (Andreas Wilson) is fantastic as the antihero and commands possibly the hardest screen presence I have seen since Ray Winstone's 'Carlin'. You are always waiting for him to kick off and you know his antagonists will not be prepared for that moment. This film reminded me a lot of Scum, in it's setting, authority and damn right nastiness from adolescents. It's easily as powerful as that film remains to this day.

An absolutely brilliant film and one I would recommend to everyone. If you are even slightly thinking about watching it then do so. Immediately!!

Imdb Link

2012 - Noah gets techno savvy

2010-03-04T06:59:00.000-08:00

Roland Emmerich returns with another Earth destruction epic. He's used Giant monsters, Aliens and Mother Nature so far and it seems that he can't get enough of that earth bashing stuff. Not sure what he went for this time, I think it was the sun or something, but then I suppose it's not that important as it's all about what he can destroy.

Well this time he destroys just about everything as he seems to be preparing for a Waterworld re-boot. And that's just what he does. These films are all about the visual stupendousness of blowing up the world. Like taking the disaster movies of the seventies and amalgamating them into one big ride at Universal Studios. There is no doubt he is the master of this, but clearly the scripts are stuck firmly in the ass end of hell. There in lies the problem. He has the power to leave me watching in awe as he destroys well known landmarks by the dozen whilst not giving one cahoot about the tens of thousands of people that are dying. Ultimately this leaves me cold to whether any of the characters on screen live or die. As the film clocks in at about 2 1/2 hours there is far too much of this poorly scripted worthless filler.

And there is some fine talent on show if the script was good. Amanda Peet, John Cusack, Danny Glover, Oliver Platt, Thandie Newton are all there for you not to give a stuff about. Although I did think they were all about one step down the ladder from whom he originally wanted,

So there you have it. Long winded shallow disaster epic with some of the greatest visuals you will see this year or probably by 2012. You have to switch off the brain for far far longer than normal but I can hardly call this crap.

[ REC] 2 - Yeah, I'm still shitting my pants

2010-03-03T13:25:00.000-08:00

[REC] blew me away when I saw it a couple of years ago. In a time when horror movies nowadays seem to be more about shocking and sick imagery than generally scaring the pants off the viewer it was a welcome addition to the genre. So to find out they made a sequel is just fantastic as I thought after the US remake -Quarantine - and the fact that only the US regularly churns out cheap sequels, that it was unlikely to happen.

It picks up straight after where the first one left off and pretty much continues along the same line. Because of this it is never going to shock you as much as the first as you know what to expect, it's even set in the same building as before. So rather than just continuing with the same kind of jumps as before, it adds a lot more to the story that was hinted at at the end of the first.

And it works. The first person camera view drags you in as before and then continually smacks you in the face. Once again, if this doesn't scare you, you're already dead.

Shoot 'Em Up - There goes my love rocket red

2010-03-03T13:07:00.000-08:00

I really wanted to like this film as it contains all the elements that garner my interest. Cheap plot, crazy violence and Bellucci. But it just comes across as a poor Crank imitation. Unfortunately for the viewer Clive Owen is no Jason Statham. Apart from having a pretty bland name he has about as much charisma as Keanu Reeves after a lobotomy, playing a tree. And in a film like this Charisma is king.

Like I said, it's not all bad and I do want to like it more, it's just that at times, crazy that they are, the set pieces look a little too staged. Skidding under a table like you on a luge doesn't look cool and if you look like you're on a wire, you look like you're on a wire.

That's about all I can say really. Paul Giamatti is the only person on show giving this film some charm. Monica is starting to look like a forty year old actress and even the Henchmen for Hire don't have any redeeming features. In a world without The Stath then this might be better but the guy has made these films his own.

Ninja Assassin - F#ckin' A

2010-03-01T12:11:00.001-08:00

Last year or so Sylvester Stallone made another sequel. Not Rocky But Rambo. Not that special to many as action movies had become PG13 rated legitimate teenage movie affairs like most of the supposed horror movies around or they had to have some deep meaningful subtext or twist. Luckily he raised two fingers to that suggestion and gave us some serious 80s violence with new millennium cinematic effects.

Ninja Assassin Carry's on with the new found cinema for glorified violence. Meaningless, plotless and so bloody gloriously violent. Loved every minute from the opening bust up to the crappy song as the credits rolled. It never really lets up (aside from the porn worthy script that links the violence) and for that it should be applauded. If you don't like this type of shallow showcase of violence then fair enough. I on the other hand.......Love It!!!!

Hoorah, at last movies have got back on track and started to become more violent than the video games that had imitated them in the first place. Hmm, video games!! Yes parents, 18 rated games are not for your little kiddies either so get your snout out and let me relish in some pure uncensored ultra violence. It's just a movie.

The Others - Who the what now??

2010-02-28T11:57:00.000-08:00

The Others is a great example of real horror movie. It doesn't need gore and it doesn't need violence, it just needs the atmosphere. The Others is creepier than creep from the creepshow in creepy town.

It sets itself up in a Mansion house. Always cold and creepy. Plus it comes up with an excuse for the said mansion house to usually have the curtains drawn and only candle light to break the gloom. Creepy. And that is basically it. I don't think there is any music in this film or if there is it is very infrequent. All it does it use the cold setting, long silences and some loud footsteps and creaky floorboards. But it's better than my description could ever make it and the few actors on show are very very good at what they have to do. A fantastic story from start to finish.

Clifhanger - The comeback king

2010-02-28T05:40:00.000-08:00

This was definitely an improvement in the Stallone bankability for me. After giving me some legendary cinema (well video at least) in the early Eighties he had started to turn out some right tosh. Was probably feeling the pressure from Arnie and Willis as a threat to his throne and let's face it, he doesn't deal with that well. Still no excuses for turning out tripe like Oscar and Stop! or my Mom will shoot though. I mean Lock Up and Rocky V were not a sign to give up the genre just re establish yourself. Still, with Cliffhanger he made one of the best movies of its type for the decade and got started to climb back to the top. Hardehar.

Directed by Renny Harlin in his purple patch and carrying some good support in John Lithgow and Michael Rooker, Cliffhanger entertains from start to finish. It's got the easy set up, Sly involved in the death of a mates girlfriend, chucks in job and friends, then comes back, tense atmosphere but luckily a dramatic situation gets them to all pull together. Of course as this is Harlin, by dramatic I mean well OTT. A plane heist, a plane crash and a mountain rescue kick ass adventure. But it's all about the set pieces with Renny and the ones on show here do not disappoint. The plane heist is superb and the red copter still stands out as one of the best copter scenes in the movies. Before this I'm sure we had to do with helicopters disappearing before an inevitable explosion. Hell, we had to wait for The Matrix to better it.

So, if you're ready for Renny's corny dialogue and camp villains on the basis of all the great violence you're gonna get then you're ready for Cliffhanger. Hell, you'll even be ready to accept Eastenders Dan as the nasty English Hardman.

Fantastic 4 : Rise of the Silver Surfer - Actually, a docudrama about 70s on the web would have been more fun to watch

2010-02-23T13:11:00.000-08:00

Every so often a Superhero movie comes out that redefines the genre, or maybe just places the genre within a different genre there buy not given us a new genre but merely an adaptation of the existing genre or maybe of the other genre. Either way, it usually makes you sit back and go 'WOW!' Like the original Tim Burton Batman with all it's Gothic imagery and dark characterisation, adult themes and lack of spandex. Of course, with great success comes great irresponsibility, and in the movie world that means shovelling numerous inferior sequels and imitations down the throats of your insatiable shallow audiences until even they throw up on the putrid excess and lack of substance that you have dragged from the pit of poor comic pulp. Yes, Comics (or Graphic Novels if you think it affects your sex life (I don't think it will make a blind bit of difference but may affect your standing in Starbucks I suppose)) like books can have bad stories too. And we don't really need to have a 2 hour movie made from the expanded issue 412 of Spiderman, in which Peter Parker had met Doctor Octopus who had come across The Hulk earlier in the day and had happened to mention that he saw Thor in a cafe talking to Mr Metamorphoses who had said he was going into town that afternoon. Hmmmm, what mysterious adventure was he going to have??? Maybe we could make a film about it.

I guess what I mean is that for Every Batman and Batman Returns, we get Batman Forever and Batman And Robin (mind you even that can entertain more than this) oh and Ghostrider too. Booooooooo!

So there you are. The Fantastic Four sequel is shite. Now that maybe not a great revelation to many of you as you probably thought the first one was too. But I kind of liked it. As for the sequel though, it's shite. Chris Evans is annoying and shite. The welsh bloke (insert phlegm name here) is irritatingly annoying and shite. The Thing is soo annoying and shite.(Did this man star in one of the finest dramas on TV??? Lets hope he doesn't go down the Nic Cage route of wasted talent cash whore) and Jessica Alba is sickly sweet and annoying and shite, and I don't care how attractive she may be 'cos I own Into the Blue. The only saving grace is The Silver Surfer himself who is kinda cool, but even he cant save this from feeling like A big budget humourless remake of Star Trek IV. And such comparisons should never have to be made.

In fact this is so Shite that I expect a second sequel is already in production.

Orphan - If you weren't trying to cash in on a superior Spanish movie with the title then I forgive you for that....

2010-02-23T12:54:00.000-08:00

....but, oh for the love of God! ( A term I shall be using more often as I have been watching The Tudors too much) what were you aiming for? the small number of people who will never have seen this kind of by the numbers affair before.

The film starts with an unnecessarily cold, bloody and shallow beginning, very reminiscent of The Fly II for me. Not a great recommendation and not exactly dragging me in for the post intro fare to come. Ironically the rest of the film doesn't really follow along the lines of the opening gore, preferring in this instance to follow along the psychological horror route albeit with the finesse of J-Horror westernised remake directed by Uwe Boll....on an off day.

So what we have is a recovering alcoholic (not to be believed), who appears to have accidentally almost nearly killed a family member (Definitely not to trusted), a young son who will hate everything immediately (you're so gonna get it), a deaf/mute daughter (see lots of evil, say no evil then) and a an Orphan girl to be adopted into said family (Will be European in American movie to sound more menacing and wear freaky old style clothes to heighten menacing appearance).

And that's what it is. A cliched affair with all the obvious scares laid out by the ordinance survey before they strike, with only the ending being a true surprise as you may not have quite figured it out and even if you did it's a little ickie. I don't like to criticise too much as many horror films are cliched affairs, it's just this one seems to take itself so seriously and really thinks that it's great. Esther, the orphan in question, is definitely scary though, so give it a go and you might get a few jumps. Providing you've never seen a horror movie before that is.

Edtv - 57 channels and there's got to be something on

2010-02-13T21:56:00.000-08:00

So I can't sleep. Get up, and browse the internet and switch on the TV. Watch a bit of the winter Olympics on BBC and then when that finishes, up pops the Ceefax selection of pages and the killer background music. How can this still exist??? What purpose does this TXT system now serve and is the facility not due to disappear when the analogue signal switches off??? In the time of HD satellite, 1000's of channels, 50 inch plasma TV's, Big Brother ,press the red button now interactivity, feesat, freeview, dancing on ice, digital switchover, Internet downloads, torrentTV, Justin TV, get me out of here and iPlayer who is interested in this. Everyone has the Internet, and if they don't then I'm damn sure they don't feel the need for a slow information digest like this. In fact they probably don't want to know anything

This ran for an hour this morning. If you want to go off air, then go off air. I think I'd rather look at this at least it might stimulate somekind of emotion. Fear maybe. Mental!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Butterfly Effect - Flap wings, Earthquake, Japan and all that shit

2010-02-13T21:36:00.000-08:00

Love this movie. Gets a bit of a bum ride from some corners but if you take it at face value then it's simple entertainment. An easy suspense/thriller/scifi movie that can be watched at anytime. You get comedy, drama, excitement all rolled into what is effectively a very light story. Okay, so the abuse undertones may or probably did put a few off, but it's no more than a tool to move the story along and is not lingered on or even shoved under your nose as it's not what the film is about. Time travel is the theme as the title should have indicated to you and you don't mess with that mother, trust me. Kutcher plays the lead role well (he just lightens the movie) and the supporting cast are just as worthy. And the soundtrack is superb.

A bit like Frequency, the Dennis Quaid movie in style and content for me. But at least that movie didn't spawn 2 lesser sequels. Okay I've not seen them both but Internet debate is not encouraging me to rush out and do so. I caught the start of the first sequel and even Erica Durance couldn't keep me watching. I'm informed that the third movie is better (than the second), but that's what people say about the Starship Troopers sequels. Well being better than a complete Turd is not exactly raising the bar.

Oh and a word of advice. There is a Directors cut of this film that has a different ending. Don't watch it, or at least not first. The Theatrical ending is just better. Hollywood got it right for once.

Pontypool - I wouldn't believe your wireless radio

2010-02-13T21:20:00.003-08:00

So onto the zombie drama that is and isn't. I really liked this film. Very little happens outside the environment of one room and the involvement of a handful of characters, but it is done really really well. To a level that keeps the viewer engrossed. The clever (I always say clever. I just mean decent, engaging, well lit, not just point and shoot) camera work, the solid acting and the flowing story always had me on edge to what was coming next. The idea of how the zombie virus is spread is where the story will create debate and give the film a longevity (not me I thought it was bonkers :) but this is still a solid little movie performance regardless.

I enjoyed this much more than Paranormal Activity. Are they similar?? Well to me they are as there are very few characters, very little really happens and the trailers would have pulled in some very disappointed viewers. But I love zombie movies in all shapes and sizes so this wins out. Trailer, trailer trailer......

Dark City - We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.....

2010-02-13T21:05:00.000-08:00

Dark City is a strange one. Good film, Intelligent script and original Ideas (at least to me), but still difficult to pin down. Therefore 'Period Scifi' is the label I shall give it.

The story focuses on a group of aliens who are on earth to study Human reaction. To do this they constantly change the environment and situations using a skill they call 'Tuning'. The Aliens themselves are pretty good Richard O'Brienesq (as he is one) looking creatures. Although when they are all together in the same room, they do appear to be a cross between Hellraisers Cenobites and Toy Story's Green Aliens. 'Tear my soul apart OOOOOHHHH!'

The setting is very sterile and grim to look at and kind of reminded me of a less colourful Dick Tracey. At the time it's look reminded me of The Matrix in that I was thinking that that film did it better or even looked better, so was interesting to read afterwards that the same sets may have been used in places. And where as in the Matrix we have Neo as the link between cultures, in this film we have "John". More indication then that this film didn't quite have the budget let alone the Kung Fu of that film.

All in all, a clever film, for fans of Blade Runner, Brazil, Matrix, Meaning of Life, City of Lost Children, Time Bandits (it's really just the way the buildings change that is making me quote Gilliam/Monty Python movies)

Valentine's Day - Our survey says.......

2010-02-04T11:19:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to watch this movie. Not even if you pay me. Looking at the list of cast names on the movie poster doesn't really fill me anticipation, and is only worsened as I look upon the name of Julia Roberts. Never got that one in the hot actress stakes. And don't bring up her legs in Pretty woman poster as they weren't even hers. If I must go for a Hollywood Bitch of the time the give me Demi Moore anyday.

I've seen this movie poster everywhere and much as I'm sure that I'm not the target audience I am still not sure who really is. Above the title of the movie sits the line 'From the director of Pretty woman'. What!!!!!!????? How relevant is that to anyone? What is this telling us? Put on your best deep American movie trailer voice and read.

1) The director has not made a film of any worth for 20 years.

2)The director hasn't made a decent film for 20 years and there is a good chance this will be shit
too.

3) The film that 40 something woman have been waiting a generation for to fill the empty void in their lives

4)If you spent the past 20 years believing that there could never be a film as powerful and moving as Pretty Woman and so refused to watch any then this is the film for you.

5)Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the sea (cinema)

Okay, so I was never going to watch this regardless of any presentation or advertising but it just bugs me. Surely the biggest spending element is in the 20/30 bracket and this means nothing to them. Who gives these people jobs???

The Tudors (season one) - And I think my job is shit

2010-02-01T11:16:00.000-08:00

Showtime is to many, the poor man's HBO. I'm not sure why. They have produced two fine shows in Dexter and Brotherhood, and now The Tudors. I took me a while to watch it but as I'm glad I did as it is a fantastic looking show.

It concentrates on the early years of Henry VIII (or '8' as Showtime have indicated, Ah one reason then) so rather than the old fat church burner we see in all history books we get the young athletic church burner instead. So it's a cooler telling of the story that most of us know with our Henry being a bit of a bratish, power mad, hedonistic king. Considering he's about 25 he does seem to have a fair bit of teenage angst though. Think Haydens 'Anakin Skywalker' with just a lot more fun and sex. (Ahh The Sex, When things get slow, whack in some sex. That's Showtime) I suppose they have to, we all pretty much know the story of The church burning Beheading king so they have to maintain the interest.

But I'm belittling the show. It's well acted by some, cringe worthy by others but you can not take away the fact that it looks superb. You would actually think you were in 16th Century England (god I hope that's right).

Roll on Season 2. But it ain't no Rome, BoB, Sons of Anarchy, etc.........

Oh yeah. The Job. Well I knew that The King had people who wiped his ass, and even people that sat at the bottom of the bed when he shagged. But I had no idea that he had someone to do this job. And before you think you know what it is, it isn't. But it almost is. I mean you're close enough :/

Up in the Air - Life's what you make it

2010-01-31T06:22:00.000-08:00

Up in the air is a film I've been looking forward to since I saw the trailer (although I swear it was called something different), It just connected straight away. I later learned that it was directed by Jason Rietman which only increased my anticipation. Hes been involved in two well received films ('Thank you for smoking' and 'Juno') already and clearly is a man who picks his projects well. In fact I really should sit down and watch both those films properly and not just catch parts of each now and again. That said, they do capture my attention whenever they appear on the screen.

This film is no different. It engages the viewer through it's simple story telling and comedy moments. It's been touted as a romcom, but such simple genre pigeonholing does not do it justice and would probably scare off too many viewers. Because beneath the story there a lot of messages and things to make you think. It's a story about how people live their lives and how one man's milk is another man's mustard (is that even the saying???) Moments of doubt are not always a call to change anything.

All this is told from the point of view of an 'emotionally detached' man (George Clooney, playing himself if you ask me. Is he emotionally detached??) who flies round the US firing people for a living. That in itself provides most of the comedy moments with some fabulous cameos. Plus if you've been fired, replaced, removed then you will get some great mileage from the crap that comes out of Clooneys mouth. That's when he's not delivering killer lines like 'I'm not racist, I stereotype. It's faster'.

All in all a great movie. But not a romcom, a lifecom. Jason Rietman = Kevin Smith with broader appeal and a much cooler Richard Curtis.

Crank: High Voltage - Rock and Roll

2010-01-26T11:41:00.000-08:00

Crank 2 picks up pretty much from where Crank left off. In fact it picks up from exactly that point. That itself doesn't make a lot of sense, but then this is the story of Chev Chelios and much like a an episode of Dallas, you know your audience will accept it all at face value.

So what we have here is a crazy ass showing of stunts, mayhem, chaos and bad language (well offensive actually) and story telling of the up most stupefied. Possibly everything that Postal wanted to be but could never be as it was hampered by Uwe Boll and didn't start the legendary Statham (I am yet to see the Boll/Statham collaboration though and didn't I say that about Crank)

So as is the tradition of popcorn movie making, the sequel takes all the extreme elements of the predecessor and expands them into an even more mad movie, almost as mad as this and well madder than the opening 15 minutes of Dead or Alive (which in my head I'm sure was mad). You want highbrow subtext then look elsewhere, but........

.......life, film, video game, film...life???? There has to be a thesis in there somewhere, in fact if the opening frame of the movie had been Stathams eye blinking open then we may have had oscar worthy material here ;)

Apollo 13 - Are there still people who don't think we went to the moon??

2010-01-21T10:56:00.001-08:00

NASA space program. OK I'm hooked. A brilliant flick form the 90s bought to us by Ron 'Richie' Cunnigham-Howard about the ill fated and thus, aptly named Apollo 13 space mission. Well you can see where the conspiracy theorists get a foot hold. Number 13, what were the chances?? It launched at 13:13, Lovell's wife dropped her wedding ring down the shower. But this all happened, and its only Hot Shots that we have to blame for any doubt in coincidence. Wendy I can Flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

Still, I'm missing the point. This is a story based very much in fact and filmed that way also. The sets and costumes and attitudes are spot on for the time (60s/70s America). Time was spent creating the sets, such as the Lem and mission control to ensure their authenticity. It all looks fantastic. The CGI used to create the Saturn 5 rocket launch (wow) and Subsequent space scenes are amazing and are still looking great today. Their scale and majesty just as immense as the actual event.

Howard is probably the only director that could bring this dramatic tale to the screen as it's all so American feel good at the same time. It never distracts from the drama though. We Were Soldiers had the wives club bringing widows the bad news in between the war drama and it didn't work (laughable in fact). In this it adds to the character development and the viewer is more involved for it.

Space and Paxton (even in non OTT mode) Brilliant!

Jennifer's Body - Falling apart at the seams

2010-01-20T10:51:00.000-08:00

Now before I start I must add that I think I fall outside of the 99.9% of the world who think Megan Fox is hot. I don't get the obsession. I remember when I saw Transformers and commented to someone that it was just 'Okay and could have done without the human element subplot'. They quickly chipped in with ' yeah, maybe, but...Megan Fox!!!!' She's far from ugly, but then so are many people.

So to the movie.....

It's a good little flick that maybe hovers (not flys) inbetween a required audience. It's not strong enough to be a horror, it's not hip enough to be teen high school and it probably wants to be too clever. That said, to me it fell into the realm of Heathers and The Faculty for watchability and that means it's got rewatchability too. I didn't really know what to expect when I switched it on and that maybe helped a little. Plus it's got a great soundtrack. Anything with the White Lies on is a winner for me.

The Day the Earth Stood Still - Can you sleep standing up??

2010-01-15T13:46:00.001-08:00

Looking for a reason to slag off the remaking of classics??? Trying to find that Ammunition??? Look no further. How to ruin a classic. And that's what the original is, a Black and White BBC2 Teatime classic.

This on the other hand is poor. It doesn't grab you at all. In fact it looks and feels like a Stargate SG1 episode at times. I mean look at the poster, if that's not a M.Knight Shyamalan looking number then I don't know what is. That would be OK if

A) It was

and

B) His films were still good.

Seen it all before. I can't even be bothered to paragraph correctly. Meh!

Seraphim Falls - Boom Boom Shake Shake the Room

2010-01-11T12:08:00.001-08:00

Take two top actors and put them in a gritty chase drama in the Wild west and you should get a good movie. Luckily, you do with this. Brosnan shakes off the campness of Mamma Mia (probably, I don't know when that was made) and Neeson continues on the bad ass image from Taken (probably I'm not sure when that was released, maybe this was the start) as they both portray two evil men driven by war and vengeance. As with most westerns of the last 20 years it really shows how down and dirty those times were, where if you weren't on your guard 24 seven you probably wouldn't be around long.

There's not a lot of love on show between any of the characters and if it wasn't for the epic scenery on show you might not really care about anything, but it kind of brings the whole thing together. And it's not like the characters aren't developed well, it's just that they're nasty. Easily one of the most 'filmic' movies I have seen in a long time. The end is very clever and left me wanting for it to just carry on..... or at least find a few more down right dirty westerns to watch.

The Hangover - Re-Rewind when the crowd go bo selector

2010-01-07T13:15:00.000-08:00

One of the most popular and successful comedies of 2009. Why?? Todd Philips, that's why. From the director of Old School and Road Trip comes another winner. But, as with all his films, at first glance it just seems average. TP is up there with Judd Apatow for me. Maybe not trying to be quite as clever, but just as funny. His films are just full of 'moments' lots of them that just gel with each other to make a brilliant film.

The Hangover has lots of them. The Doctor scene, Mr Chows voice, The 'this isn't the first time I've found a baby' line, in fact any scene with Alan. Pure class. It plays serious and stylish from time to time and you wonder if it was trying to be like 'Very Bad Things', but there's no way it could have been. It's just a comedy film trying to pull away from the Teen only audience. All his films are. No preaching, no moral, just laughs.

Fast & Furious - And a bit ridiculous

2010-01-04T14:28:00.000-08:00

I love the F&F franchise. I really do. The car racing, the car fronting, the car chasing and the background crime story. All in wonderful day glow imagery. Brilliant. Needless to say, I was very excited about the arrival of number 4 in the series. Even Vin was back in the lead after his cameo in number 3.

Alas all the hype about the reuniting of the original team was a big let down in the end. A bitch crazy opening scene was all there really was to get excited about. It was stupid enough to send out warnings. Where were the colourful cars, where were the watchable car chases? Through underground caves in the dark does not work.

Not so much a bad film as a poor addition to the franchise, like Alien Resurrection, Terminator3, Home Alone 3 &4 (who knows, never bothered to watch em, but no Culkin and no Christmas so no point). Thing is, sequels of popcorn movies should simply be more of the same for me.

Stomp The Yard - Politically correct 'Guilty pleasure'????

2010-01-04T14:05:00.000-08:00

When I first saw this movie I could not stop laughing. It is so serious, like the dance version of 8-mile. But where as that film features rappers, who do scare me (guns and drive bys and all that), this film features 'stepping' and well to do youthful Americans.

Thing is, whilst I laugh, and I do, I Belly laugh (It's so serious), I still can't help but be drawn into the film. It looks great, it's very cliched, but it looks great. Very much a movie. But oh so serious. And so much fronting. It's very much a movie about fronting. And then there's the gayest scene since anything you saw in Top Gun. Like it's trying to say 'Hey we're dancers, but we're buff and we're hard!'

But it is still highly recommended by me to you, for all those reasons above and so many more. So many movies fail in the presentation side. This movie wanted to tell a story about Dance, so it employed Actor/Dancers, or Dancers/Actors. What does this mean to you and me. No close ups of feet or wide angle distance shots, that's what. Love it.

None of the above is a joke by the way, for any doubters who know me too well.

Wanted - Office Space just went kick ass

2009-12-22T12:35:00.001-08:00

Crazy ass stunts and Anarchic comic book humour. This a film for the 'post Lucas Movie Audience' for sure. The opening Assassin scene. WOW. The train crash. Crash???? Does that play it down some what. Add to that some Angelina and Exploding rats and there is little wrong for me. Okay.......................................

.........so the plot is a bit bonkers, but then the Minority Report had that machine that dropped Balls and that was Spielberg. So who cares if they have a magic loom. Oh and did I mention the exploding rats??? I'm not a huge fan of Batman Returns but I can appreciate Penguins with rocket launchers. Exploding rats people!!!!!

The Family Man - F***ing Nic Cage

2009-12-22T12:24:00.000-08:00

Yeah it's a nice story. Yeah it's a feel good-ish movie. Yay!!! It's set at Christmas. I even like the 'It's a Wonderful Life' undertones. But come on, Bloody Nic Cage. How much more of his over the top performances do I have to endure just cause I want to watch a film. Sodding Nic Cage. I used to like him. He even manages to put in the stupid expression and dance around moves into a bloody Xmas film. "Er we need a man to dance round like a prat in his underwear. Cruise doesn't do that now does he??? Ok, can we get Cage?".

Early stuff I like, but since Con Air, he's lost credibility. And he seems to show four signs constantly so maybe I should get him to hold his arms in the air to confirm.

The Muppet Christmas Carol - Please Sir! Are there any more?

2009-12-22T12:18:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows the Dickens Classic and everyone has their favourite version. This isn't mine, but it still does well enough to keep your attention. If you like the Muppets then you can't fail to enjoy this but give me the Patrick Stewart version any day. The story plays better if it's a little bit darker.

The Prestige - Your a magician not a wizard

2009-12-22T12:02:00.001-08:00

More period Drama. This time featuring turn of the century dueling magicians. A lavish affair bought to us by Chris Nolan and with his CV you know you're in for a treat. Strong acting stunning visuals and the expected twist. I didn't spot it. The sleight of hand is in the story telling as well. That's what gives the film repeat viewing for me and I have seen it a few times. There's even a bit of Steam Punk in there to broaden the audience appeal.

Brotherhood Of The Wolf - All Things to All People

2009-12-22T11:48:00.001-08:00

Show me the wolf! Show me the wolf! This movie has everything, from it's costumes to the grueling bleak landscapes. It's got action, kick ass action from Mark Dacascos no less. It's like the Matrix found a better time line to hang out in. Horror, atmos'fear' and Wolves. And it's in French. Classic French though so no OTT Teenage angst from troubled Parisians. If you have a few hours to spare and want to be enthralled you could do far worse. A Stunning film.

Journey to the Centre of the Earth - Don't Stop Believing

2009-12-19T11:49:00.000-08:00

What can you say about this classic? It's rock buffoonery that traverses the bad cheese that's good. It's apparently the most downloaded song ever. It was Spoofed/Homaged to perfection by Family Guy. And of course it was butchered by The X Factor - As all is.

But the best comment I ever heard about it was that it apparently sounds like a Kings of Leon Song. After I had laughed out loud and re sown my sides together, I thought, 'you know, perhaps it would be worth them knocking out a cover'

The Art Of War - Stop your nonsense

2009-12-19T11:10:00.000-08:00

Yeah. It's not all films.

As the battle of the Xmas number 1 'Rages' (I thank You) on between RATM and Joke Factor. As we have to listen to endless news commentary and poor journalism on the whole affair without really getting to the fact of why it's been done. As I buy my first single in about 10 years. As even the weather comes up as a factor in the outcome (only in Britain).

Well the 23:59 :59 closing time approaches, what do I think??? What do you think??? Who cares, this is still the best Xmas song ever!!!!!!

Lethal Weapon - That's a real badge, I'm a real cop and this is a real firing gun

2009-12-09T11:52:00.001-08:00

Just like presents, Xmas movies come in all shapes and sizes. This action classic from '87 is pretty close to genre perfection to me. Especially if Xmas Action movie is a genre. The 80s spawned the Big Budget Comedy/thriller/actioner (usually with it's poorer sequels in tow), see Beverly Hills Cop & Die Hard for the other family members, a special era. It's funny because at times this film seems dated, but then you realise that it's just been imitated so many times, (even on TV shows nowdays) that maybe it's been diluted for the modern audience. But when the key action scenes kick in even the most jaded movie goer can't help but be amazed.

Gibson in one of his top 3 roles for me (Mad Max and William Wallace being the others) and Danny Glover just uniquely 'Danny Glover'. They definitely do not make them like this anymore and cinema is poorer for it. And maybe the TV edited showing is too :-)

Gremlins - Uh Oh!!!

2009-12-09T11:34:00.000-08:00

Cute pets, classic 80s cast, anarchic comic book violence and comedy genius. Joe Dante, Chris Columbus, Steven Spielberg and Jerry Goldsmiths classic score to boot. I can't tell you much about Gremlins, but if you have never seen it then your missing out. Spawned thousands of poor imitations that could never match the blend and appeal of this Christmas treat.

800 Bullets - A Fistfull of Steel

2009-12-09T11:26:00.000-08:00

A sneaky little effort that I decided to watch and was glad I did. Follows the story of a group of ex stuntman that stared in some of the spaghetti westerns of the sixties. Still scraping a living doing stunt shows for tourists, their lively hood is threatened when their working home is sold to developers. From then on it follows a similar mould to Hollywood underdog stories but with at least one scene that would never make it in those films.

It's funny and knows it's source material with the only complaint being that it's about 30 minutes too long.

Silmido - During the War....

2009-12-09T11:12:00.000-08:00

Another Korean flick, this time a War movie based on a true event in the North/South Korean history. It's a little like Dirty Dozen without the humour. South Korea trains up an elite unit made of criminals facing the death penalty for a mission to assassinate the commander of the North. Things don't go as planned and politics intervenes to put the mockers on the whole affair, much to the detriment of the said criminals.

It's a well acted low budget affair without the big explosions of Taegukgi and Assembly and is much the more depressing for it. But given the fact that it really happened, that is probably the idea. Brutal viewing.