Lethal Weapon - That's a real badge, I'm a real cop and this is a real firing gun

Just like presents, Xmas movies come in all shapes and sizes. This action classic from '87 is pretty close to genre perfection to me. Especially if Xmas Action movie is a genre. The 80s spawned the Big Budget Comedy/thriller/actioner (usually with it's poorer sequels in tow), see Beverly Hills Cop & Die Hard for the other family members, a special era. It's funny because at times this film seems dated, but then you realise that it's just been imitated so many times, (even on TV shows nowdays) that maybe it's been diluted for the modern audience. But when the key action scenes kick in even the most jaded movie goer can't help but be amazed.

Gibson in one of his top 3 roles for me (Mad Max and William Wallace being the others) and Danny Glover just uniquely 'Danny Glover'. They definitely do not make them like this anymore and cinema is poorer for it. And maybe the TV edited showing is too :-)

Gremlins - Uh Oh!!!

Cute pets, classic 80s cast, anarchic comic book violence and comedy genius. Joe Dante, Chris Columbus, Steven Spielberg and Jerry Goldsmiths classic score to boot. I can't tell you much about Gremlins, but if you have never seen it then your missing out. Spawned thousands of poor imitations that could never match the blend and appeal of this Christmas treat.

800 Bullets - A Fistfull of Steel

A sneaky little effort that I decided to watch and was glad I did. Follows the story of a group of ex stuntman that stared in some of the spaghetti westerns of the sixties. Still scraping a living doing stunt shows for tourists, their lively hood is threatened when their working home is sold to developers. From then on it follows a similar mould to Hollywood underdog stories but with at least one scene that would never make it in those films.

It's funny and knows it's source material with the only complaint being that it's about 30 minutes too long.

Silmido - During the War....

Another Korean flick, this time a War movie based on a true event in the North/South Korean history. It's a little like Dirty Dozen without the humour. South Korea trains up an elite unit made of criminals facing the death penalty for a mission to assassinate the commander of the North. Things don't go as planned and politics intervenes to put the mockers on the whole affair, much to the detriment of the said criminals.

It's a well acted low budget affair without the big explosions of Taegukgi and Assembly and is much the more depressing for it. But given the fact that it really happened, that is probably the idea. Brutal viewing.

Sons Of Anarchy - John the Revelator

Season 2 is nearing the end. One more episode to air. It's been a hoot, the best thing on TV at the moment. Henry Rollins is in this season, adding to a great cast that already included, Hellboy, Leela and the young gay kid from Queer as Folk. Chuck in the Bikes, the girls, the guns, the crime and the family and the mix is complete. Check it out, It's Shakespearean don't you know.

Monster - Will and Grace

What a dull movie. It's about Americas first female serial killer and is incredibly dull. Charlize is scarily ugly and girlfriend Riccis' head is now more egg shaped than ever. It's kind of weird standpoint for the viewer as the violence never feels 'violent' and it seems we should feel sorry for her. But I don't cos she was minging and I felt more sorry for her customers even before she had killed them.

Timeline - Much like their records, seemed like a good deal....

Ironic that this is from the same author as Jurassic Park, as at times the cast feels like they were the seconds from that classy number. It's worth a watch probably once, if only for Anna Friel. But there are things to note before you jump in :-

1) Bad time travel films always have me questioning every plot hole whilst I'm being bored.

2) Paul Walker can only be himself, so putting him anywhere but West Coast America as a bratty 20 something narcissist is not going to work.

3) Billy Connolly is a fine man, a fine actor and a fantastic stand up. But when did you ever see him in an unmissable movie?

4) Tight camera shots are great when you're watching a film about being trapped in a cave or a space ship. Otherwise they can feel like a TV show.

5) I don't like BBCs Robin Hood. Do you??

6) Jurassic Park, Westworld, Andromeda Strain...................Congo, Sphere, 13th Warrior.

7) If you have ever seen The One Show and that Scottish bloke who likes history then Gerard Butlers character is pretty much ruined for you. If he was any good in the first place.

Make your own judgement.

Paranormal Activity - Don't Don't Don't Don't Don't believe the Hype.

The new Blair Witch. Well Maybe, on the basis that there is no benefit to watching this on the big screen. Scary??? Probably, if you watch it in the dark and then go to bed when it's finished. Oh , and as long as you haven't seen the trailer. That's the main difference with the Blair Witch comparison as that film had a carefully worked Internet campaign and back story to drag you in before the movie. This film just has a trailer that clips all the best bits of the film (shockingly so).

I'm OK with the subtext but let's get some perspective. Close...but no cigar.

Zombieland - Killer of the Year

I know I'm not gonna knock a zombie movie, but trust me, this one really is worth your time. I read a book a few years ago called 'The Zombie Survival Guide' and I like to think that the writers and directors of this gem read it as well. The funniest zombie movie since Shaun of the Dead. High praise indeed. But too few movies can hit the comedy horror nail on the head like these two movies have. Laughs gore and suspense it would seem are difficult things to master.

Woody Harrelson is back in the good books. I'm not sure he ever went away - Semi Pro anyone??? Plus we have a new young American in Jesse Eisenberg. All the cast are brilliant, and a cameo by Bill Murray, really picks the film up mid way.

I hope for a sequel. Until then, I will just keep humming 'For Whom The Bell Tolls' everyday and see those opening credits in my head. 'It's the fattys that go first'. Legendary

Bernard and The Genie - Dicks lost gem

I first saw this back in the 90s. 1991 I guess, as to my knowledge it has never been repeated since (Damn Royalties). It's comedy that only Richard Curtis can write (smaulchy, but overall, rewarding) and possibly Lenny Henrys last great performance (Harsh). I used to watch my VHS copy every Xmas but that disappeared after about 5 years. Then followed a quest for either a DVD or a reshowing. Two things that didn't materialise for over 10 years. Still the second most expensive DVD I ever bought, and when received, just like watching my taped off the TV VHS, all wear and tear in place :-/

Still I digress. Simply put, if you can locate a copy, or better still, badger the BBC to show it again, then sit down with the family and have a watch. Brilliant!!!!

Reindeer Games - I had better sex in prison

Reindeer games is a strange movie. The strangest things about it are the fact that it is A) A Ben Affleck Movie and B) Quite good. It's a twisting thriller of a movie with some great action sets and some inspired dialogue. It may be a bit too long and have a few too many twists, but I can forgive it. The Xmas connection ensures repeat viewing from me and even if it didn't, the Santa shoot out is worth it alone. Ignore your preconceived ideas of Ben and give it a go.

Zombies Zombies Zombies - Clearly the best trailer ever

Classic. They don't do 'em like this anymore. And I never made that 28 days later link before either. Mr Boyle, not a zombie movie my arse.

Night of the Living Dead - They're coming to get you Barbara

The film that started it all. For me at least. Scared the bejebus out of me when I first saw it, alone, late at night, the lights down low. Wooah! 'What the fuck is going on?' Gripped from the start to the finish, even if the voiceover woman did try to ruin the bleak ending for me. Hmm, started my hatred for amateurs as well then.

This is a powerhouse of a movie that still hits home today. That's because of the social commentary running throughout the film. George is a lover of that in his movies. Even if you don't want to see or hear it, it's very being there makes the horror the better for it. I have seen this film so many times (along with the other 2 of the preferred 'Trilogy of the Dead') and it never loses a thing. Zombies man, they are freaking scary!!!!!!!

Doghouse - Buy 'em a bicardi brezzer and they'll ride ya like sea bisciut!

Another Brit Horror snoops under my radar. And a bloody zombie movie as well. Crazy ass zombie birds after the blood of cockney boys on a weekend jolly. Danny Dyer plays Danny Dyer in film number ......24? Excellent. That means Blood, guts, comedy, craziness, zombies, Scantily glad zombies, sex mad zombies, best zombies since Zombie Strippers and Danny Dyerisms - love it! Just don't forget your beer and sense of humour.

Day of the Dead - Hi Bud

The Dawn of the Dead remake from 2004 was a fantastic remake that along with Shaun of The Dead helped bring my favourite horror genre back to the mantle. Is 'Day' up there with those two??? Is it a really really bad movie?? No and yes would be the simple answers. Let's face it, it's not exactly just jumped on the zombie resurgence bandwagon but it is clinging hold of the bumper with it's rotting fingers.

Not as bad as I feared, but stupid circus freak zombies (running out of ideas must reinvent bizarre mutants in the style of Alien and Predator diminishing sequels) did kind of put me off. Stupid characters, badly miscast, with a silly story and cheap looking finale set don't help either. But then this is a simple zombie movie with lots of gore and at that level it worked.

Soldiers, Doctors and Bud. That is probably the only excuse for borrowing the tile of Georges 85 classic.