Sunday, 19 February 2012

Mr Majestyk - Melons is Melons

Mr Majestyk is one of three things :-

Either it's a slow burning action movie with the good guy being pushed till he breaks. an age old story but this is from the 70's

Or, the blueprint for every single A-Team episode that was ever made. We're talking the set up, the bad guys, the woman, the driving. Everything

Or, it's an advert for the strength, speed and agility of the Ford Pick-up truck. Apparently it was, the following year.

It's still a great watch with the dependable Mr Bronson though, and I would recommend you get a viewing in before the inevitable Statham remake which will probably end up a combination of this and First Blood. Hmm, that sounds quite good "'Why you keep pushing my fackin' melons you slag!"

Friday, 3 February 2012

Blitz - Nought as Queer as folk

Dirty looking, stylised, violent, sweary London crime thriller that could have been great if hadn't had tried too hard.  Bullshit action can twist on a whim, characterisation and story can't.  Most of the good work is pissed up against the wall with the weak ending regardless.

It's like they got bored. One for fans of 'The Stath' or the genre only.

Ironclad - Look to my coming at the first light of the fifth day

The Battle for Helm's Deep condensed into a much bloodier and gorier rated flick with a healthier bum time of only two hours and with no silly talking trees breaking up the action. The limb and body count for this movie is seriously high for something that pretends it's factual. It get's proper Medieval on your ass.

Great stuff, but probably wouldn't watch again.

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

The American - Bored of the USA

The American is pretty much what you'd expect from a George Clooney film.  Well acted, well shot and well directed. Stylish, like the man.  But despite this, it is a wafer thin, seen it all before typical story of a Hitman that is fed up with the life he lives and want to throw it all in.  As we all know, Hitman cant just hand in their 4 weeks notice and collect the P45, and so begins the age old tale of hunter turned hunted.

The difference with this version though is that it's all rather slow, dull and pointless as it meanders along to it's predictable conclusion.  Not for me this Italian Melodrama, the best bit being when George emerges from those tiny doors.  Badly framed shot??

Monday, 2 January 2012

Sanctum - Men with Hats at Work

A load of climbers get stuck in a flooding cave system and get picked off one by one in Descent style minus the the suspenseful supernatural horror element. It's a bit like The Poseidon Adventure (in fact really like it in places) except not as terrifying because you're unlikely to ever find yourself in a cave other than Wookey Hole, whereas a capsized boat could happen on a jaunt to The Isle of Wight. The shouty Aussie gets on your nerves as well.

Apparently, this film is great in 3D and is produced/presented/not really involved by James Cameron.  That tells you all you need to know before you even watch it.