The Empire Never Ended

Saturday, 25 October 2008

The Happening - Not the place to be

Mmmmmmm.Night Shamalamadingdong decided that the best way to make his films look great again is to make a shite one first. It almost worked except this is only marginally better than Lady in the Water. Trade mark visuals, sets, a good idea and genuinely tense until Marky Mark appears on screen or opens his mouth. Then you just want to laugh. At least his next film will be a stormer. Or the next one.......

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0949731/

Hostel:Part II - Stayed in a worse B&B before

They call it ' Torture Porn' I think. Well its torturous, but just on your energy to watch movies. Awful. Exactly like the first, but without the originality, obviously. Don't bother, because Saw does it better and there are less breasts in this one.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0498353/

Monday, 20 October 2008

So little time - So much to do

So, we have the PS3, we have GTAIV we have PES 09, when will I find time to watch films now???? Oh yes, and must make time to meet women.

Sunday, 19 October 2008

Jarhead - War, It's boring and there is no bugle program! You sizzle dick motherfucker!

'This is my rifle, there are many like it but this one is mine'....hang on wrong film. But this is a Platoon or FMJ for the next generation. Brilliantly helmed by Sam M again (the lucky B) and the cinematography is fantastic. Stunning - 'All the rest is Bullshit.'

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0418763/

Death Race - A race to the death.

It's a PWS Anderson and Statham collaborartion, so we're not talking highbrow entertainment. A back to basics action movie that all action movie fans should love. Unless you've seen the Original and then you will get all highbrow on someones' ass. But you will never see me slag off a Statham film.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0452608/

Little Miss Sunshine - Americans actually do this to their kids

As said. Finally got around to this one and it is very funny. But also disturbing as Americans really hold these kiddy pageants. But enough, the jokes keep coming at you and the whole film is a bit like a Wes Anderson picture, right down to the slo-mo. And as for granpa - gotta get that young pussy when your young else you're looking at a 3 to 5 stretch.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0449059/

Saturday, 20 September 2008

Rocknrolla - Going for a ruby with the trouble, give this a butchers, worth spending your Abergavennys on. It's that Guy, whatsisname?

Not as good as the trailers suggest. He's not back on top form yet. A blend of Revolver style but the raw comedy of his first 2 is still not back. Great cast and soundtrack though. And better than I'm making it sound.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1032755/

Saturday, 6 September 2008

The Fall - One long advert???

If you saw The Cell, you might know what to expect. It looks at times like you are watching a commercial with the style and editing, but the locations are so stunning, they draw you in. Not for all, but just maybe.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460791/