Mr Woodcock - Well the titles funny

It just isn't funny, Sean William Scott plays the same role as in The Promotion and Billy Bob plays the same role he's done so many times lately. But it just doesn't work. Some funny moments but few and far and very little else to shout about instead. I don't know, maybe I was just in a bad mood.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419984/

Alien - Never work for the man!!

An incredibly tense and scary affair. Sci fi horror at it's best. Still stands up today because of it's cast, direction and visuals. Both the Scott brothers know movies. I was 10 when I first saw this and had to take the next day off school. Those BBFC ratings are there for a reason.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078748/

Death Proof - There's something about Vanessa

See I like this film, I don't know ....Vanessa Ferlito... what it is about it I like so much?...Vanessa Ferlito....I think maybe because QT is back with his trade....Vanessa Ferlito... mark dialogue and enticing....Vanessa Ferlito....soundtrack that only he can do. And that amazing.....Vanessa Ferlioto..... car crash, absolutely stunning...Vanessa Ferlito.... what beauty...Vanessa Ferlito....could watch it over and over again. Oh, can I get lap dance...Vanessa Ferlito....?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1028528/

Saw V - I,II,III,IV,V everybody in the car so come on let's ride

So we are back, with Jigsaw number V I don't know what we were expecting, none of us could remember what happened in IV. Now I warn you people will die and you will be left thinking that maybe Jigsaw John's engineering prowess could be put to better use. Ooh Aah, that's how it all starts, but then there's running and screaming...and blood and guts and bone.....should I even have to review a fourth sequel, law of diminishing returns and all?????

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1132626/

Reign Over Me - Sometimes it's just easier not to remember

You'll laugh , you'll cry, but mostly you'll cry. Wow what a film. If this doesn't get to you then you're made of stone.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0490204/

Postal - It's a Uwe Boll film??!!?!?%%$?£?"! His best if that swings it for ya!

Never heard of ths VG, but it is one. Should be mad, bad and dangerous to know - well it is, just for the wrong reasons. Only this man can take a shit idea and make it more shitty as opposed to loveable shitty. Moments, but only moments.....oh and bikini girls with guns, oh and he gets killed. Just a film though.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486640/

Kenny - Mad as a clown's cock

Kenny cleans up crap, Kenny has a lot to say, Kenny is as funny as shit. Mockumentary masterclass from Oz. If you don't love this one, it could never work between us. Kenny is a legend - what a guy.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0822389/

Never Been Kissed - Just like 'Carrie' but for girls

You see every so often this girl appears and I end up watching movies like this. I don't really mind as she's a nice girl and hey, it is Drew Barrymore. Oh...the review, well for girls - Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown pa........
And for the guys - ITS DREW BARRYMORE.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0151738/

RED - Frank Castle he isn't , but he's still pretty miffed

Brian Cox (legend) in another great film. Perfectly shows how western society today pushes people into seeking their own justice. Small town America might look idyllic but it has the same mindless scum as everywhere else, and this country has guns on tap. Maybe Cox is just the new Connery - The man can't make a bad film.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0972883/

Tropic Thunder - I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipes, and swallow the gravy

Pure class. Cleverly apes so many actors, agents, directors and war films without ever really being too obvious. Think Spaced not Scary Movie. The new Team Ameica one feels. Here we go again.....again


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0942385/

Hot Rod - Too legit to quit

Jesus built my Scooter. It's a love affair. Mainly Jesus and my Hot Rod.

George Michael said 'Listen without Prejudice'. Lorne Michaels said 'Watch without Judas Priest'. Ok that may not be true but it should give an indication of what this film is like. Comedy that the Yanks do best. Watch and learn.

Yeah, Fuck It!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0787475/

The Orphanage - One, two, three, knock on the wall....

...no don't, just build a wall and hide behind it because this film is scary. Kids, Orphange, scarecrow, old woman with big glassses, can it be any worse. Turn up the sound to eleven, dim the lights, possible watch with others of a nervous disposition and be prepared to have your tits scared off. This is a game of Simon says that you do not want to play.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0464141/

First Blood - If you go down to the woods today

Rambo, Stallone, Ugh. Watch it ladies it's one of his best. John J goes on a one man revenge spree, killing and maiming some instantly dislikable cops, hicks and hickcops. Who would have thought that over 20 years later he would be standing for President with one of those very same hicks standing with him as his VP. You crazy Americans.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083944/

Taken - French pissing off the CIA, French pissing off the USA-A-A-A-A

Luc Besson by numbers, but not a bad thing. The smaltz stuff is a bit Face Off but the rest is class. Liam Neeson took some lessons from Bourne and Bauer, left the force behind and turned into one bad ass mother. Don't mess with him 'cause he will take you down, take you down to chinatown.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0936501/

The Incredible Hulk - Merely credible

I don't know why people think this is better than Ang Lee's effort? It just doesn't have the impact or scale of the first. The Hulk is big and yet the framing contains him. We have the same characters and yet a completley different cast. Ed Norton is off form and Tim Roth is laughable. Maybe I'm not as shallow as I thought. Still a reasonable effort though and the beautiful Liv Tyler should be enough to keep your attention. Ahh there we go..

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800080/