Last House on The Left (2009) - I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is Mad Psychopathic Bastard!

Just don't think we need films like this anymore. No longer shocking, just a bit disturbing. Torture, Rape, Murder and Revenge. You can't side with the bad guys and a bit worrying if you side with the 'Good?'. I like a good Horror film but I don't consider this to be it. The cinema was full though, Orange Wednesday can take the responsibility.

Blood Work - Meh!

Too obvious for me this one. The story is not original and Clint is just Clint. You can see who the killer is from early on and then it just falls into end scene parody. Note to Clint 'Must Do Better' Oh, you did. Never mind then :)

Titanic - Am I giving away the ending if I tell you it sinks?

This movie is about 12 years old now and it still looks fantastic. Shows a few flaws but then hey! don't we all. JC really nailed this one despite the criticism that was flying about re the cost, the tone and the sets. I think people were still reeling form Waterworld's over budget extravaganza and weren't prepared to give it a break. You watch it for the first time expecting some wuss love story but you get so much more. Epic Visual Feast. Will never be seen or appreciated by some, but then that's their loss. Of course I'm not sure if Cameron ever matched this but then that may have something to do with the fact that he went 'nuts'.

The Hitcher - How many years is a generation??

It does seem that they are remaking a lot of Horror films in the noughties. This is a bit of a treasured classic for people of my age, so I'll ignore that for the review. Like most of these remakimaginingboots, it seems that they up the gore factor and skimp on the scare factor (My words). I think they did that here to a degree but the scares were lessened by the fact it doesn't get dark early enough in the summer. This film looks fantastic though, it really does, no budget skimps and the actors are well into there roles. Sean Bean is a legend but he's no Rutger Hauer. You ain't never gonna perfect that stare Sharpe. Mostly the same as the original minus the 'gay' undertones. Never picked up on those in the '86 film so think it may just be a classic case of male insecure sexuality issues.

Mind Hunters - Brain Numbness

Renny Harlin. Check. Val Kilmer. Check. Christian Slater. Check. Johnny Lee Miller. Check. That pale women from Cold Case. Check. Eva Herzigova. Czech. The list goes on meaning this should be good, but it isn............

Wait, it's not bad. When I first saw this years ago I thought it was excellent popcorn fodder. Some great actors (poor stereotyped characters maybe - this is Renny), some good death scenes and a few jumps. Maybe the fact that it was a illegal copy made it that bit more edgy??? Who knows. It's worth a watch I think, although others may disagree. Not life changing but not Kak. It just doesn't stand up to a second viewing, even though I didn't realise this until the third. I certainly never noticed the terrible music on the first watch.

Terminator Salvation - Oh God in Heaven Help Me!

Well this was good. Despite the bad press I went with an open mind. What's not to like? It's the war with the machines. The glimpses we saw in the earlier movies in one big apocalyptic bonanza. Plays straight and doesn't kill the franchise in the way T3 tried to (I still love that as a movie though) and AvP II did to both Alien and Predator. But the Original still rules this ongoing Cyborg affair as it never felt the need for sentimentality in the machines. Cut the Star Trek Crap, It's too early in the morning!

Star Trek - Shadows?? On My Lungs???

Not blown away by this as much as I was expecting. I'm a fan of JJ, both his TV and Feature Film work. But maybe others had set the bar too high. Was watching T4 before this sending my archiving film brain into overload??? It was good, It was a yarn, but it was still Trek by numbers for me. No need to cream your pants if you get me drift! I will buy this and I will watch this again, the being Trekker that I am, but I think too many have gone overboard in expressing the adulation for this movie. Am I jaded???? Am I dying????? Can I not appreciate film anymore???

Ultraviolet - Not the brilliant BBC show you thought it was though

Stunning. Visionary. Beautiful. Gets better and more intriguing with every viewing. If only all films were made like this. I cant think how the writer, director and producer haven't got together to make more films, but then I suppose you can't beat perfection. That must be the reason :)

Grizzly Man - So it's Ted Danson's fault??

Well, this is a weird one! Is it an intriguing documentary about a childlike man who never grew up and dedicated his life to trying to protect the animals he loved so much from the dangers only he could see. Or is it one big trick being played on us all only to be revealed when Werner Herzog is on his deathbed and shouts out 'there were no fairies'. I blame that Sacha Baron Cohen and BBC Ghostwatch. Just remember, no one can tell you about Grizzly Man you have to experience it for yourself. Just Bizarre!!!!