Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Fantastic 4 : Rise of the Silver Surfer - Actually, a docudrama about 70s on the web would have been more fun to watch

Every so often a Superhero movie comes out that redefines the genre, or maybe just places the genre within a different genre there buy not given us a new genre but merely an adaptation of the existing genre or maybe of the other genre. Either way, it usually makes you sit back and go 'WOW!' Like the original Tim Burton Batman with all it's Gothic imagery and dark characterisation, adult themes and lack of spandex. Of course, with great success comes great irresponsibility, and in the movie world that means shovelling numerous inferior sequels and imitations down the throats of your insatiable shallow audiences until even they throw up on the putrid excess and lack of substance that you have dragged from the pit of poor comic pulp. Yes, Comics (or Graphic Novels if you think it affects your sex life (I don't think it will make a blind bit of difference but may affect your standing in Starbucks I suppose)) like books can have bad stories too. And we don't really need to have a 2 hour movie made from the expanded issue 412 of Spiderman, in which Peter Parker had met Doctor Octopus who had come across The Hulk earlier in the day and had happened to mention that he saw Thor in a cafe talking to Mr Metamorphoses who had said he was going into town that afternoon. Hmmmm, what mysterious adventure was he going to have??? Maybe we could make a film about it.

I guess what I mean is that for Every Batman and Batman Returns, we get Batman Forever and Batman And Robin (mind you even that can entertain more than this) oh and Ghostrider too. Booooooooo!

So there you are. The Fantastic Four sequel is shite. Now that maybe not a great revelation to many of you as you probably thought the first one was too. But I kind of liked it. As for the sequel though, it's shite. Chris Evans is annoying and shite. The welsh bloke (insert phlegm name here) is irritatingly annoying and shite. The Thing is soo annoying and shite.(Did this man star in one of the finest dramas on TV??? Lets hope he doesn't go down the Nic Cage route of wasted talent cash whore) and Jessica Alba is sickly sweet and annoying and shite, and I don't care how attractive she may be 'cos I own Into the Blue. The only saving grace is The Silver Surfer himself who is kinda cool, but even he cant save this from feeling like A big budget humourless remake of Star Trek IV. And such comparisons should never have to be made.

In fact this is so Shite that I expect a second sequel is already in production.

1 comment:

Rob said...

A sequel is not in production.

However, a reboot is on the cards a mere 3 years after this sequel came out.


Ah, you already know why. Cause Rise of the Siver Surfer is shite.

Godbless Alba. So beautiful. So wooden.